Summer Classic Box Scores & Stats (Summer 2025)

Shortis vs Dirty Mike & The Boys

2nd Period:
MIKE (1-0) – Ryan (1) (assisted by Joel) (5:59)
MIKE (2-0) – Ryan (2) (assisted by Emma) (9:29)
3rd Period:
MIKE (3-0) – Ryan (3) (PS) (kind of assisted by Hicks) (0:00)
MIKE (4-0) – Ryan (4) (assisted by Emma) (3:28)
MIKE (5-0) – Ken (1) (assisted by Emma) (4:12)

GAME NOTES:
A borderline shocker in the opening game of the day. First, this 9:30 game didn’t start til about 10:20 because at 9:30 it was only Shortis at the rink. That part is regrettable but I wouldn’t call it particularly shocking. League personnel did arrive around 9:40 but Dirty Mike & The Boys were unable to field a team until about 10:15, which is a new record as far as tournament lateness that I’ve ever seen and will probably require a special new rule for next year’s event. Once the game did start, The F-Shack absolutely dominated in every facet. I expected them to be competitive but, particularly in a first game of the day after I saw several of these guys at the craps table with me circa 4 AM the previous evening, this was a fairly incredible performance…with a 2-0 lead after two periods and Hicks feeling even more frivolous with his spending than usual, possibly on account of only being about $500 in the hole at the tables vs over $1000 for several unnamed savages, he purchased a penalty shot for the F-Shack which Ryan converted to complete his hat trick. Sam’s been doing the penalty shot purchase system for many years in his Montreal charity tournament and even he could not recall a time when a person not on the team purchased a penalty shot for a totally unrelated team. Shortis suffer a shocking 5-0 loss as Dirty Mike & The Boys make an early statement.

THREE STARS OF THE GAME:
3rd – Emma (3A)
2nd – Sophia (W, SO)
1st – Ryan (4G)

High Rollers vs Nip Slip

1st Period:
HIGH (1-0) – Sam (1) (unassisted) (0:27)
NIP (1-1) – Nate (1) (assisted by Milstein)
NIP (2-1) – McCauley (1) (assisted by Jordan)
2nd Period:
NIP (3-1) – Len (1) (assisted by Jordan)
NIP (4-1) – Chris Fullam (1) (assisted by Corey)
3rd Period:
HIGH (2-4) – Luca French (1) (PS)
HIGH (3-4) – Matt Bramson (1) (assisted by Rob) (12:00)

GAME NOTES:
This game has no time of goals listed because after the first minute it was Mikey doing the scoresheet. He will not be paid for his efforts…I do remember the last goal was scored with a minute left. I also remember Sam telling me that some Swedish guy was chirping him at the Friday party that he was going to rob him all day. Sam, unsurprisingly scored 27 seconds into the game…otherwise this was a hard fought game between two very evenly matched teams, although red was missing one of their top players, Josh the bar manager who overslept the first game. Still, they got it to within one with a minute left and hit a crossbar in the waning seconds, giving Nip Slip a 4-3 win in their tournament opener.

THREE STARS OF THE GAME:
3rd – Jordan (2A)
2nd – Carl (W, 1 GA)
1st – Chris Fullam (GWG)

Dirty Mike & The Boys vs Thrust Fund

1st Period:
MIKE (1-0) – Ryan (5) (assisted by Mikey) (6:31)
2nd Period:
SEX (1-1) – Alex Horton (1) (assisted by Scott Storer) (2:13)
SEX (2-1) – Corey (1) (assisted by Chad) (3:16)
MIKE (2-2) – Steph (1) (assisted by The Milkman) (12:13)
3rd Period:
MIKE (3-2) – Ryan (6) (assisted by Emma) (0:14)
MIKE (4-2) – Emma (1) (assisted by Ken) (2:19)
SEX (3-4) – Corey (2) (assisted by Jack) (4:34)
SEX (4-4) – Scott Storer (1) (assisted by Hicks) (5:51)
SEX (5-4) – Sam (1) (PS) (13:00)

GAME NOTES:
A classic back-and-forth battle between two elite hungover teams. Dirty Mike led 1-0 at the end of the 1st and 4-2 early in the 3rd before a furious rally by Thrust Fund tied the game at 4. Although the game was about to go to a shootout anyways, each team bought a penalty shot to send it to a defacto 1v1 shootout. Max made the save on Ryan while Sam snuck his attempt on Sophia five hole to give his team the walk-off victory.

THREE STARS OF THE GAME:
3rd – Scott Storer (1G, 1A)
2nd – Ryan (2G)
1st – Corey (2G)

Thrust Fund vs High Rollers

1st Period:
SEX (1-0) – Sam (2) (assisted by Jack) (7:33)
HIGH (1-1) – The Dane Train (1) (assisted by Luca French) (8:35)
2nd Period:
SEX (2-1) – Scott Storer (2) (assisted by Hicks) (2:39)
SEX (3-1) – Chad (1) (assisted by Corey) (4:10)
SEX (4-1) – Scott Storer (3) (assisted by Alex) (9:00)
SEX (5-1) – Maurice (1) (assisted by Scott Storer) (10:29)
3rd Period:
SEX (6-1) – Chad (2) (assisted by Sam) (2:16)
SEX (7-1) – Alex Horton (2) (assisted by Alex) (4:50)
SEX (8-1) – Chad (3) (assisted by Corey) (8:45)
HIGH (2-8) – DRo (1) (unassisted) (10:57)

GAME NOTES:
Josh, the bar manager from Friday night’s afterparty, rolled in for this game after missing the first one and made an immediate difference. That said, a tight 1-1 game after the 1st period gave way to 7 straight goals by blue to put this one out of reach as the heat and the late night at the craps table started catching up to people. DRo added a goal late but it was an 8-2 win for Thrust Fund.

THREE STARS OF THE GAME:
3rd – Sam (1G, 1A)
2nd – Scott Storer (2G, 1A)
1st – Chad (3G)

Shortis vs Nip Slips

1st Period:
SHO (1-0) – Shane (1) (assisted by Julie) (8:09)
SHO (2-0) – Jeff (1) (unassisted) (10:01)
2nd Period:
NIP (1-2) – Pete (1) (assisted by LaPorte) (5:21)
SHO (3-1) – Lucas (1) (assisted by Cole) (9:42)
3rd Period:
SHO (4-1) – Jeff (2) (PS) (6:00)

GAME NOTES:
Nip Slips needed to come within two to avoid the 4/5 play-in while Shortis needed to win by 3 or more. This ended up being surprisingly close and coming down to the wire, the difference being McCauley missing his penalty shot attempt and Jeff making his. Then as Mikey frantically yelled at black to pull their goalie from the scorer’s box for the final minute of the game, they inexplicably left him in net and took the three goal L. Informed after the game that the three goal loss knocked them into the play-in, Jenn immediately blamed her team for not “allowing” her to pull the goalie. I’m not sure how that’s possible as generally when you’re the captain you just, you know, do it but that’s a story for another day. Shortis clinch the 3 seed while Nip Slips drop to the 4/5 matchup.

THREE STARS OF THE GAME:
3rd – Shane (1G)
2nd – Carl (W, 4 GA)
1st – Jeff (2G)

High Rollers vs Nip Slip

1st Half:
HIGH (1-0) – Bar Manager (1) (assisted by The Dane Train) (9:48)
HIGH (2-0) – Bar Manager (2) (unassisted) (12:08)

GAME NOTES:
Josh, the manager of the Friday night afterparty, comes through for the High Rollers with two highlight reel goals, one a bat out of the air of a Dana shot and one a bomb from beyond center ice. Those were the only two goals of the game as with five minutes left in the 2nd half of a game both teams had already agreed to shorten, black decided to forfeit …High Rollers come through with a win over Nip Slips, which is what I expected to happen before the tournament, but three games in the sweltering heat proves to be too much and they decided to forfeit their semifinal matchup due to unmatched sexiness from Thrust Fund. 6-7 players from Nip Slip then lobbied to be merged with the 3 surviving red team members who were down to play but considering that team would have been most made up of people who had just forfeited a playoff game minutes earlier that they still had a chance of winning (plus the fact that we were already almost two hours behind schedule), their request was politely declined. For future reference, there seems to be one surefire way that I know of to ensure that you get to keep playing tournament hockey games: don’t lose your preceding playoff game, and for sure don’t forfeit it. Just a thought.

THREE STARS OF THE GAME:
3rd – The Dane Train (1A)
2nd – Zisser (W, SO)
1st – Bar Manager (1G, 1A)

Shortis vs Dirty Mike & The Boys

2nd Period:
SHO (1-0) – Jeff (3) (assisted by Probert) (2:19)
SHO (2-0) – Probert (2) (assisted by Jeff) (12:08)
3rd Period:
MIKE (1-2) – Tommy (1) (assisted by Ken) (3:30)
SHO (3-1) – Probert (2) (assisted by Miles) (5:21)
MIKE (2-3) – Ken (2) (PP) (assisted by APK) (7:35)
SHO (4-2) – Probert (3) (assisted by Miles) (9:40)
MIKE (3-4) – Pete (1) (unassisted) (12:37)
MIKE (4-4) – Ryan (7) (assisted by APK) (12:51)
Overtime:
SHO (5-4) – Jeff (4) (assisted by Probert) (4:22)

GAME NOTES:
From a comedy of errors to an absolute instant classic. Before the game the line on this one was set at -120 for each side despite the earlier thrashing Dirty Mike handed out in Jeff’s car. The book banked on playoff Shortis being a different animal and thats exactly what happened. Shortis took a 2-0 lead in the 2nd and generally controlled play on the strength of multipoint games from Jeff, Probert and Miles. Up 4-2 with under 30 seconds left, it looked like it was ballgame over. But incredibly, Dirty Mike & The Boys had one last trick up their sleeves with two goals in 14 seconds to send this game into OT. Unfortunately, the comeback would go no further as Jeff buried a rebound in front to give the Shortis the OT win and send them to the finals for a classic matchup with Thrust Fund (A Beast Production).

THREE STARS OF THE GAME:
3rd – Pete (1G)
2nd – Jeff (2G, 1A)
1st – Probert (3G, 2A)

Tournament Stats

Rank	Name	Team	GP	Goals	Assists	Points	PIM	PPG	SHG	GWG	Pts/Gm
1	Ryan	FSHACK	3	7	0	7	2	0	0	1	2.33
2	Scott Storer	SEX	3	3	4	7	2	1	0	0	2.33
3	Chad	SEX	3	4	2	6	0	0	0	1	2.00
4	Probert	SHO	4	4	2	6	0	0	0	0	1.50
5	Jeff	SHO	4	4	1	5	0	0	0	2	1.25
6	Corey	SEX	3	3	2	5	0	0	0	1	1.67
7	Emma	FSHACK	3	1	4	5	0	0	0	0	1.67
8	Sam	SEX	3	3	1	4	2	0	0	1	1.33
9	Ken	FSHACK	3	2	2	4	0	1	0	0	1.33
10	Miles	SHO	3	0	3	3	2	0	0	0	1.00
11	Bar Manager	HIGH	2	2	0	2	0	0	0	1	1.00
12	Alex Horton	SEX	3	2	0	2	2	0	0	0	0.67
13	Luca French	HIGH	3	1	1	2	0	0	0	0	0.67
13	The Dane Train	HIGH	3	1	1	2	0	0	0	0	0.67
15	Alex	SEX	3	0	2	2	2	0	0	0	0.67
15	APK	FSHACK	3	0	2	2	0	0	0	0	0.67
15	Hicks	SEX	3	0	2	2	0	0	0	0	0.67
15	Jack	SEX	3	0	2	2	0	0	0	0	0.67
15	Jordan	NIP	3	0	2	2	0	0	0	0	0.67
20	Pete	FA	1	1	0	1	0	0	0	0	1.00
20	Sam	FA	1	1	0	1	0	0	0	0	1.00
22	Chris Fullam	NIP	3	1	0	1	0	0	0	1	0.33
22	DRo	HIGH	3	1	0	1	0	0	0	0	0.33
22	Len	NIP	3	1	0	1	0	0	0	0	0.33
22	Matt Bramson	HIGH	3	1	0	1	0	0	0	0	0.33
22	McCauley	NIP	3	1	0	1	0	0	0	0	0.33
22	Mo	SEX	3	1	0	1	0	0	0	0	0.33
22	Nate	NIP	3	1	0	1	0	0	0	0	0.33
22	Pete	FSHACK	3	1	0	1	2	0	0	0	0.33
22	Steph	FSHACK	3	1	0	1	0	0	0	0	0.33
22	Tommy	FSHACK	3	1	0	1	0	0	0	0	0.33
32	Lucas	SHO	4	1	0	1	0	0	0	0	0.25
32	Shane	SHO	4	1	0	1	0	0	0	0	0.25
34	Corey	FA	1	0	1	1	0	0	0	0	1.00
35	Joel	FSHACK	3	0	1	1	0	0	0	0	0.33
35	LaPorte	NIP	3	0	1	1	0	0	0	0	0.33
35	Mikey	FSHACK	3	0	1	1	0	0	0	0	0.33
35	Milstein	NIP	3	0	1	1	0	0	0	0	0.33
35	Rob Meehan	HIGH	3	0	1	1	0	0	0	0	0.33
35	The Milkman	FSHACK	3	0	1	1	0	0	0	0	0.33
41	Cole	SHO	4	0	1	1	2	0	0	0	0.25
41	Julie	SHO	4	0	1	1	0	0	0	0	0.25

Rank	Name	Team	GP	Wins	GAA	SO
1	Max	SEX	3	3	2.33	0
2	Chris	SHO	4	2	3.06	0
3	Sophia	FSHACK	3	1	3.20	1
4	Carl	NIP	3	1	3.54	1
5	Zisser	HIGH	3	1	4.77	0