A$$ Fault Green (+2.0 Goals) (+150)
Return Of The Pie Pie (-2.0 Goals) (-230)
Over 7.5 Goals (-145)
Under 7.5 Goals (EVEN)
Notes: This Rosh Hashana, celebrate the Jewish New Year by watching two teams that are badly shorthanded due to Jews. Both teams are rocking lineups of 9-10 total players and missing such notable chosen ones as Stern, Pollet, Rani, Jordan or Jo Robin. But green’s got Ridzik subbing and he did lead them to a cup a year ago. That said, that was a powerhouse green team that was top four all season while this season has been brutal in terms of injuries and absences. Maddy’s back but Jake is on another trip, this time to Poland, while Levine and Lucas are both out along with the aforementioned Jewish tandem. Orange has absences too but not nearly as many. I think this green team has the potential to really surprise some people come playoff time, but tonight is a different story. No apples dipped in honey for them tonight. Pie Pie 6-3.
Great Sexpectations (-1.5 Goals) (-200)
Purple Monkey Dishwasher (+1.5 Goals) (+135)
Over 6.5 Goals (-135)
Under 6.5 Goals (-105)
Notes: Purple has a close to full lineup and badly needs this game to guarantee that they’re out of play-in danger. Blue has two lines, three D and doesn’t really need this one, but it’d be nice as it would move their probability of top two seeding from 60% to somewhere around 90% according to the league’s analytics department. Who will win? I mean I’m obviously biased but purple’s lost three games in a row and I don’t know if that’s stopping tonight. Great Sex over Purple Monkey 4-2.
Rediohead (-1.5 Goals) (-145)
Return Of The Clap (+1.5 Goals) (EVEN)
Over 5.5 Goals (+115)
Under 5.5 Goals (-160)
Notes: It’s been a brutal season for Clap (at least by their standards) and things don’t look to be getting much better tonight as Pete, Tommy and Steph are all out, leaving Ryan as the only captain with the Clap tonight. Lots of options being tossed around for Steph’s replacement but TBD who’s actually available tonight and who’s blowing the shofar (note to goys: that doesn’t mean what you think it does). Red, meanwhile, is on a sneaky hot streak with three wins in a row and, of course, have Campbell in net which is arguably the most valuable player in the entire league. At full strength I think it’s close to even but with the current roster woes hitting Clap I have to favor red by two.
Purple Monkey Dishwasher (-2.0 Goals) (-145)
I’m Schvitzing (+2.0 Goals) (EVEN)
Over 8.5 Goals (-145)
Under 8.5 Goals (EVEN)
Notes: Schvitz and Cup Size over/unders have gotten ridiculous to the point that they are a full 3-4 goals higher than the standard red or ducks over/under. And yet I wonder if even 8.5 is enough. The league as a whole is averaging over 7 goals per game this season for the first time in years and here we have two run-and-gun teams with a lot of offensive talent and not a ton of commitment to defense from what I’ve seen in recent weeks. This is also a borderline playoff game for both teams as the winner is almost definitely out of play-in danger while the loser should keep 9/30 open, and not just for a pre-Yom Kippur meal. I really like this Schvitzing team but as their name implies, they are extremely Jewish and are missing a ton of players tonight. Purple 7-5.
Return Of The Clap (+1.5 Goals) (-120)
The Mighty Ducks (-1.5 Goals) (-120)
Over 6.5 Goals (-120)
Under 6.5 Goals (-120)
Notes: The Ducks probably won’t have Andrew until the playoffs and even that is a bit iffy. It’s a huge loss for the team but as their insane record in OTs the past two season shows, they’re a resilient group and I think they have to be favored here with Clap missing multiple huge players and Ryan possibly not 100% yet. Honestly this game probably comes down to goaltending where two of the league’s best will do battle with Sonj taking on Jeff Green. Does it matter that this will be Jeff’s 3rd game of the night? Considering this man used to show up on summer nights and play 4 games with no shirt on and often asked for a 5th, I don’t think it does. But I’m also not sure if it’ll be enough. Ryan, Bramson and Jeff are going to have to basically carry clap if they have any chance to win and I think they have a real chance to do it. I originally had this at 4-3 Ducks but honestly considering the crazy history between these teams (4 all-time meetings all decided by a goal, 3 by Ducks but the biggest one by Clap), this one is probably too close to call. Ducks will still be favored but Clap is a live dog. Buyer beware.
The Mighty Ducks (-2.0 Goals) (+135)
The MilkMob (+2.0 Goals) (-200)
Over 6.5 Goals (-145)
Under 6.5 Goals (EVEN)
Notes: The final game of the evening. Ducks need this game to maintain any chance of top two seeding while MilkMob REALLY needs it to avoid play-in danger, particularly with Hicks unavailable for next week. Geskin should be back from his hiatus and MilkMob have a surprising amount of players in for a late game. These teams met in week one with the Ducks barely getting by on an OT winner by Andrew. With him not around for this one, it’s probably too close to call but I’m taking Mob to pull the upset and save themselves from the play-in next week.