Merry Pranksters (-2.0 Goals) (-145)
The UMass Football Team (+2.0 Goals) (EVEN)
Over 7.5 Goals (EVEN)
Under 7.5 Goals (-145)
Notes: UMass is missing Joe Magosin which continues their theme for most of the season of only having one of their two top picks in for any given game, severely hampering Jack’s entire strategy of stacking the top two picks in the draft. Then again, it may be his leadership they’re missing most; that and the self-proclaimed cutest guy in the league as Source misses yet another game. Wasn’t this guy on the original team leadership committee? Wasn’t he the one who named the team after UMass’s notoriously terrible football program as I’m pretty sure they didn’t win a single game last year. The UMass ball hockey team we have here isn’t quite that bad, but they’ve had their struggles. Pranksters, on the other hand, are one of the hotttest teams and honestly one of the best stories in the league as they’ve been resurgent in their return season with three straight wins and top five seeding in the standings. I don’t see that train slowing down anytime soon. Assuming they have their top players, 6-3 Pranks.
Pinky Toe (+2.0 Goals) (-120)
Sex Ed (-2.0 Goals) (-120)
Over 8.5 Goals (-120)
Under 8.5 Goals (-120)
Notes: The toughest part of making this line is the total. Games involving blue average 6.67 goals per game which puts them on the lower end of the league and just below the standard 7.5 goal over/under. But games involving pink average a shocking 9.17 goals per game, good for first in the league (or last depending on how you look at it). Of those 9.17, they’re scoring 4 per game but giving up 5.17. I’m not sure how sustainable that is long term but for one game if they have their best speedy lineup they’ll have a shot to win this one through pure offense. Personally, biased as I am, I don’t think it’s happening. As long as everyone on blue is recovered from Saturday night and the GTDs mostly come through, they should be able to score enough to keep this one out of reach. 6-3 Sex.
Chappell Red (+1.0 Goals) (+140)
Glazin’ Donuts (-1.0 Goals) (-200)
Over 7.5 Goals (EVEN)
Under 7.5 Goals (-145)
Notes: This is a sneaky big game for two teams that have thus far had disappointing regular seasons. Donuts was expected to be fighting for the top spot and playoff byes but are in the middle of the standings while red was expected to be jockeying for position in the middle but instead are just looking to escape the play-in bracket at this point. They have an incredible opportunity to do so tonight as if they take care of business here and close out their Street Meat game they’ll gain six points and potentially vault from 12th all the way up to 7th in the standings in a single night. Your luck can change just that quickly in D5, but Donuts are going to be bringing their own desperation in this game and with Pete, Ryan, Tommy and Jeff Green in, this is a huge opportunity to show everyone why they’re considered a contender every season. Lineup wise, red has Will who has all but clinched the top goalie award this season subbing in net and also deal a blow to Donuts own lineup by virtue of Tarnow and Nate not playing for them. With two proud franchises that badly need points as we go into the final weeks of the season, it’s anyones guess how this one goes. Probably the toughest game to handicap on the entire slate. Play it safe and with Will and Jeff facing off against teams who have somewhat struggled thus far, take the under.
Chappell Red (-3.0 Goals) (EVEN)
Street Meat (+3.0 Goals) (-145)
Over 7.5 Goals (+125)
Under 7.5 Goals (-170)
Notes: Red leads this game 3-0 with just over 6 minutes left in the 2nd period. It’s going to be a tough task for Street Meat to come back, particularly with a short lineup considering people are coming in just to play 20 minutes, but Ariel will be making his season debut for yellow. Will that be enough to lead the meatiest team in the league to a comeback victory? No idea, but would be electric. Safe bet is on red to win but whether or not they cover is a different story entirely. With only 20 minutes left to play and a more defense-heavy lineup likely to be in for Meat, it’s the under for me.
The MilkMob (+3.0 Goals) (-120)
The Phantom Pie Pie (-3.0 Goals) (-120)
Over 7.5 Goals (-120)
Under 7.5 Goals (-120)
Notes: Pie Pie is missing a few players including Bedsy but they have their top three scorers and their goalie and honestly I’m not sure if anything else really matters with the way they’ve been rolling lately. They’re sporting a league best +32 goal differential and are likely to become the first team to go undefeated in the regular season since the inaugural season Cheetahs, although it should be noted that that was a six game season. Campbell is not only one of only two surviving players from that team (Mikey being the other), he would be on both undefeated teams should orange pull it off. I am fairly certain they will. APK, Hicks and Papa Joe will no doubt do yeoman’s work in trying to keep this one close, but I think orange is rolling on another level right now. 6-1 Pie Pie.
Hockey at Glatt’s (-230)
Glazin’ Donuts (+150)
Over 8.0 Goals (-145)
Under 8.0 Goals (EVEN)
Notes: This is the game of the night, a matchup between two of the league’s top franchises, one of which is the less talked about undefeated squad and one of which was expected to be fighting for top position but instead is shockingly lingering around the middle of the pack. Also not ideal for donuts is that they’re going to need to pull the upset without their Nate/Zuck tandem as Zuck is on Glatt’s and Nate somehow has an event for Ian’s wedding that’s taking place on a Tuesday night, making me wonder if this wedding is a Thursday afternoon affair or what. I also think Yehuda is in rather than Tarnow which is highly unfortunate in its own right. Not for Glatt’s though who I’m sure are relishing the opportunity to deal him two losses in a night after he complained about the ice time allotments for their top picks during a game in which he played his own top pick for 100% of the game. I think Donuts is more live than the standings or public may indicate, but Glatt’s has to be the favorite based on how they’ve played so far. Thinking this one ends something like 6-4 one way or the other.
BONUS LINES (by request)
Tony ATG (+200)
Tony First Goal (+550)
Tony To Outscore Glattman (+8000)
Hockey at Glatt’s (-2.0 Goals) (-230)
Pinky Toe (+2.0 Goals) (+150)
Over 9.0 Goals (-145)
Under 9.0 Goals (EVEN)
Notes: The last time these teams met they combined for 12 goals and Pink had a lead with three minutes left before inexplicably giving up three goals in 1:20, none of which were empty netters. I think they should pay more attention to defense in this one but I’ve also been saying that all season and it hasn’t really happened. It’s also going to be Yehuda’s 5th game of the night and while he’s pretty quick, I think he’s likely to wear down a bit by the time the clock hits 11:30 and somehow we’re only halfway through this game. In any case, that loss a couple weeks ago was an impressive performance but that is likely to be the ceiling of pink’s outcomes. I just think these teams are on different levels. 7-4 Glatt’s.
BONUS LINES (by request)
Yehuda Over 2.5 Wins Tonight (-160)
Tony ATG (+150)
Yehuda Over 5.5 Goals Tonight (+330)
Tony First Goal (+550)
Yehuda Mental Breakdown (-5000)