Red Bunny (+3.0 Goals) (EVEN)
Sgt. Siwash (-3.0 Goals) (-145)
Over 7.5 Goals (-130)
Under 7.5 Goals (-110)
Notes: It feels insane to make red a three goal underdog considering how consistent they generally are season after season but this has been an uncharacteristically rough one for them. Despite a lofty preseason power ranking and the possible GOAT Campbell’s return to the net, they currently rank last in the standings with a highly uncharacteristic league worst goals allowed figure and -26 goal differential. As long as they don’t play a team that loves blowouts and never takes its foot off the gas though they should be ok. Oh they’re playing camo? A camo team that has most of their players and specifically asked for an early Friday game? Yeah…not good. Siwash 7-2.
Bruger King (-2.0 Goals) (-200)
Cookie Monsters (+2.0 Goals) (+135)
Over 7.5 Goals (-145)
Under 7.5 Goals (EVEN)
Notes: Bruger King wanted to play tonight. Purple was ok with it but would’ve rather played Sunday if that was an open gameday. That fact alone is worth like a full goal in handicapping. Then when you factor in that silver’s top scorers are all in but purple’s missing Oskar and likely others, it’s really not great for the Cookie Monsters. True, silver is missing two of their top dmen in Sanchick and Agaby but it’s not like this team’s really playing much defense this seaosn anyways. And they have Korey Ryan. I’m sure that’ll work just fine. Tony would also probably like me to mention that he’s out because that implies that his absence is affecting the Bruger King win expectation. Not sure in which direction though. Unless Carl goes god mode, I’ve got a highly motivated silver team to roll through this one something like 6-3.
The Big Green (+1.0 Goals) (EVEN)
Sgt. Siwash (-1.0 Goals) (-145)
Over 7.5 Goals (-130)
Under 7.5 Goals (-110)
Notes: Assuming Siwash is able to take down last place red in their early game, this is easily the game of the night. I mean it probably is either way but that would just really take it to the next level. It would basically be a game for 1st place with camo needing a regulation win to pass green on the final night of the season. In fact, if this is the case and the game is tied late I wouldn’t be surprised to see the super rare tie game goalie pull as if this game gets to OT green clinches 1st. In general these teams are very tightly matched and in fact in their earlier meeting this season green just barely won on a late go-ahead goal by Emma with under two minutes left. The biggest issue for them, however, is that tonight I think they’re missing multiple big players while camo has most of theirs. I also think having an earlier tune-up game is big for Siwash as they should be revved up and ready to go. And that’s not even mentioning that Doug apparently had a big date last night and possibly had sex. Just my speculation but feel free to ask him. It’s a potential championship preview and likely a straight up game for the President’s Trophy. I think camo takes it. 4-2 Siwash as they look to pick up their 2nd straight regular season title and possibly their 2nd straight up in two weeks.
Revenge of the Pie Pie (+1.5 Goals) (+200)
Bruger King (-1.5 Goals) (-320)
Over 8.5 Goals (-130)
Under 8.5 Goals (-110)
Notes: Orange is missing pretty much every guy from Jefferies except for Rory. Considering half their roster was the Jefferies staff, this does not bode well, particularly with Danilo also out. Bruger King is missing a bunch of players too, of course, but they do have their top line of Glatt, Everett and Sam “Glatt’s Roommate” Bodner (alternate rejected nickname: Sam “The Body” Bodner). On these Friday nights when most teams are short, that line should be enough to basically win this game singlehandedly. Bruger King to win and, despite being in last place literally 72 hours ago, punch their ticket into the top four.
Saving Private Ryan (+1.0 Goals) (+350)
Chocolate MilkMob (Sponsored by Oreos) (-1.0 Goals) (-600)
Over 7.5 Goals (-130)
Under 7.5 Goals (-110)
Notes: I have no idea what to expect from this game, the final one of the regular season featuring two of the more up-and-down teams this season. But I do know Bedsy is prob out for brown but they have most everyone else in while most of pink is probably out for Brooke’s birthday. Why Yehuda would not request an early timeslot tonight knowing this was the case is something you can ask him yourself. Regardless, I think it’s a pretty easy choice here considering that the revitalized Chocolate Mob would be favored even if pink was at full strength and it certainly appears as if they will not be even close to that. Brown to win by three and punch their ticket to either 4th or 5th place. Pink to likely end up the 9 seed and possibly play them in round two next week. Or at least they hope. Will likely need better attendance than I’m projecting tonight.