Week 8 Betting Lines (Summer/Fall 2021)

Orange Royals (+105)
The Barrel (-145)
Over 7.0 (-120)

Under 7.0 (-120)

Notes: The Royals have won 3 of 4 games since trading for Cherie but face perhaps their stiffest test tonight as they face the first place Barrel. Purple suffered their first loss of the season Friday night in an OT thriller against the Hooligans and now possibly face the loss of their goalie for the rest of the season as Chris is playing tonight before undergoing toe surgery on Friday (or so Jack tells the media). The loss of Chris for any extended period would be tough as he’s been great this season and his absence means Barrel receives either a league sub for the remainder of the season (and rest assured this time around it won’t be Corey) or Jack will have no choice but to suit up in net himself and give the people the Jackuum. The Barrel currently only has 5 guys in for the game but its a solid five with Jack, Derek, Henry, Joel and Chris Fullam, plus Amit/Davis as GTDs. I think purple has the edge in this one but it’s close enough that it’s a dangerous game to bet as orange has looked hungry and their chemistry has been improving week to week. The over/under is also tough to bet here as the Barrel are somehow averaging 6 goals for per game and 3.5 against for an average total of 9.5 goals in their games but the Royals have been involved in three shutouts already this season (two for, one against) and their games average a by-far league low 5.17 total goals. This means their games on average have less goals than the Barrel themselves score per game. McQuade special in play here…no idea, prob should avoid, clearly someone will ignore me and bet it though.

Frothing Hyenas (+135)
The Sexy Ducks (-175)

Over 8.5 (-120)
Under 8.5 (-120)

Notes: After suffering their first loss since opening night the Ducks will look to bounce back against the Hyenas who they previously bested 8-2 a month ago. Meg remains out while Kevin and Ariel are still not residents of NY but Kelsey is back from France and McCauley will be making his season debut tonight. Not sure who’s in for red but they haven’t asked me for any subs so I have to assume they have a reasonably full lineup. The Hyenas, like the Royals, have been playing better post-trade but haven’t been able to pull out a win for their efforts. I don’t expect this game to be as lopsided as the first meeting was, but I also don’t expect tonight to be their first win either. Bet on blue even at lopsided odds. As for over/under, this is the first time in league history it’s been set at 8.5 so you’re on your own for that one. Ducks game average a total of 8.5 goals per game while Hyenas games average 9.5 total goals per game. All-time league record is 13 goals in a game which happened twice in the six seasons before this one and has already happened twice this season.

Hungry Hippos (-130)
My Cup Size Is Stanley (-110)

Over 6.5 (-120)
Under 6.5 (-120)

Notes: Jenn is questionable for this game and Max is confirmed out so good chance ScottyK once again wears the C. Does the Cup Size in question refer to his penis protector or does he secretly have massive man-boobs like Frank Costanza? In any case he will lead black into battle against the Hicks/Herr family and the Hippos (their logo should really just be a giant yellow H). This is a massive game in the standings as the winner will be within striking distance of the 4th seed and the first round bye that comes with it while the losing team will sit in 7th place and need a massive 2nd half run to break into the top four. Further complicating matters is it’s currently unclear who will be in goal for either team: probably Waldman and Zisser, but TBD based on how much construction litigation is in the works today. The Hippos currently have five rostered guys showing up and will need one guy sub, but Cup Size only has Nicole H from their rostered ladies. Cup Size certainly has the speed edge but with the Hippos sporting arguably the deepest female unit in the league (Sarah, Cheeky, LJ, Lily & Trace), I must install them as the favorites in this one and bet them to pick up a hard fought win.

The Goaldiggers (+105)
Green Street Hooligans (-145)

Over 7.5 (EVEN)
Under 7.5 (-140)

Notes: The Goaldiggers are somehow playing only their 2nd game in the month of September while the Hooligans are playing their 5th. All that rust is sure to take a toll on a team that was already floundering a bit after an OT loss to Cup Size (who have the 2nd worst goal differential in the league) and a 6-1 thrashing at the hands of The Barrel. Tarnow is still battling a hamstring injury but for the most part the rest of the roster should be fine. The Hooligans are coming off an impressive come-from-behind OT victory over the Barrel Friday night as they handed purple their first loss of the season. AK and Probie are 3rd and 4th in the scoring race while Seb is celebrating fatherhood by having his best offensive season ever, scoring four goals in his first four games after only making one game last season. This is the first game of a home-and-home between these teams and as much as I think the Goaldiggers are a solid all-around group, I just can’t shake the feeling that there’s something exciting going on with green this season (in related news, this may have been the best season yet for the preseason prop lines). The over/under is a true toss-up with two great goalies but also the Hooligans averaging 8 total goals in their games this year. With the Goaldiggers likely to win if the game is low-scoring and Hooligans a near-lock to win if it turns into a shootout, I am for sure glad that the league sportsbook doesn’t allow parlays because GSH/over would be so +EV that even people who don’t know what +EV means probably pieced it together through context clues. In any case, final game of the night should be a fun one, if for no other reason than because I’m sure the Diggers have missed playing hockey, but I’m betting on Austin, Probert and Jess (included here because she says she’s never mentioned in these previews) to lead the Hooligans to victory.

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