Julie’s Football Club vs Shooting Blancs
1st Period:
BLNC (1-0) – Neil (1) (assisted by Russo) (0:31)
BLNC (2-0) – McCauley (1) (assisted by Adam Herman) (11:52)
3rd Period:
BLNC (3-0) – McCauley (2) (assisted by Cara) (0:11)
JFC (1-3) – Julie (1) (assisted by Keith) (1:30)
BLNC (4-1) – Russo (1) (assisted by Adam Herman) (2:19)
JFC (2-4) – Tash (1) (assisted by Rys) (3:48)
JFC (3-4) – AFrey (1) (assisted by Rys) (7:27)
JFC (4-4) – Zach Fein (1) (assisted by Rys) (10:32)
BLNC (5-4) – Andreas (1) (assisted by Simon) (11:54)
GAME NOTES: Julie met me in front of my building at 5:20 in Gramercy for a 6:15 game. 40 minutes later our cab finally made it 4 blocks over to the FDR only to find out the police had closed the entire highway for Joe Biden UN shit. After a lot of subway transfers and a lot of sprinting we finally made it to the rink in time to see the 1st period expire with white holding a 2-0 lead. Politics suck…orange made a valiant effort at a comeback and actually had the game tied up with 5 minutes left but Andreas buried a late rebound goal to cap off a wild 7 goal 3rd period and give Simon a win in his first game as captain.
THREE STARS OF THE GAME:
3rd – Russo (1G, 1A)
2nd – Rys (3A)
1st – McCauley (2G)
The Muskies vs Red Rockets
1st Period:
RKT (1-0) – Corey (1) (assisted by Austin Lyons) (8:02)
RKT (2-0) – Brita (1) (assisted by Austin Lyons) (12:59)
2nd Period:
MSK (1-2) – Campbell (1) (assisted by Shirtless Rob) (1:01)
MSK (2-2) – Annie (1) (assisted by Campbell) (10:07)
3rd Period:
MSK (3-2) – Annie (2) (assisted by Shirtless Rob) (3:55)
MSK (4-2) – Jack (1) (assisted by Ryann) (8:18)
MSK (5-2) – Jack (2) (EN) (unassisted) (10:58)
GAME NOTES: The Rockets jumped out to a 2-0 lead with a 1st period buzzer beater but purple stormed back off the strength of team resiliency, two goals each by Jack and Annie and some truly awful backchecking by Ellie and Goose. Despite the loss of their 1st rounder Miles and Zisser being on his honeymoon, purple nonetheless completed the comeback and picked up their first W of the season.
THREE STARS OF THE GAME:
3rd – Jack (2G)
2nd – Campbell (1G, 1A)
1st – Annie (2G)
My Cup Size Is Stanley vs MelRose Place
1st Period:
CUP (1-0) – Meatbox (1) (assisted by Evan Larkin) (11:45)
MRP (1-1) – Luc (1) (assisted by Totis) (12:54)
2nd Period:
MRP (2-1) – Luc (2) (assisted by Josh Wagner) (0:27)
CUP (2-2) – Kevin Aylesworth (1) (assisted by Meatbox) (12:58)
3rd Period:
MRP (3-2) – Reape (1) (assisted by DRo) (10:13)
MRP (4-2) – Jason Campbell (1) (EN) (unassisted) (11:57)
GAME NOTES: Ridzik’s first career game was a barnburner, back-and-forth affair with the revamped Cup Size. In the end though MelRose picked up their first win in yellow as Reape buried a late rebound and Jason Campbell added an empty netter to seal it.
THREE STARS OF THE GAME:
3rd – Ridzik (2 GA)
2nd – Meatbox (1G, 1A)
1st – Luc (2G)
Pinky Swear $#*! vs YeHooligan’s Heroes
1st Period:
YHH (1-0) – Jeff (1) (PP) (assisted by Mike Milstein) (7:51)
YHH (2-0) – Jeff (2) (unassisted) (12:00)
2nd Period:
PNK (1-2) – Mike Stern (1) (assisted by Jake Kolenberg) (2:00)
PNK (2-2) – Wes (1) (assisted by Mike Stern) (9:07)
3rd Period:
YHH (3-2) – Izzy (1) (assisted by Jeff Oberg) (4:40)
PNK (3-3) – Wes (2) (assisted by Mike Stern) (9:06)
PNK (4-3) – Sean “Elle Woods” Kittredge (1) (assisted by Brett Cantor) (9:42)
GAME NOTES: The final game of an electric opening night was another back-and-forth affair between pink and green. The rebranded YeHooligans led 2-0 and 3-2 but pink kept coming back and capped it off with a goal by Sean wearing a women’s medium that left little to the imagination. Good stuff.
THREE STARS OF THE GAME:
3rd – Jeff Oberg (2G, 1A)
2nd – Wes (2G)
1st – Mike Stern (1G, 2A)
EJ Entertainment vs Shooting Blancs
1st Period:
SEX (1-0) – Krishan (1) (unassisted) (0:20)
SEX (2-0) – Caitlin (1) (assisted by Dave Liang) (8:39)
2nd Period:
SEX (3-0) – Krishan (2) (assisted by Dave Liang) (2:17)
SEX (4-0) – Sam Gelman (1) (assisted by AFrey) (4:39)
SEX (5-0) – Dave Liang (1) (unassisted) (12:59)
3rd Period:
SEX (6-0) – Justin McNeil (1) (assisted by Krishan) (3:08)
SEX (7-0) – Krishan (3) (unassisted) (7:30)
GAME NOTES: The world premiere of EJ Entertainment was just as sexy as expected with blue, despite the absence of Sam, putting up an impressive 7 goals and Phelps picking up a season opening shutout for a surprising 7-0 W to kick off a night of blowouts…Phelps has not allowed a goal in blue since June 24, one of the most impressive stats since Probert went two full calendar years between assists. Simply amazing.
THREE STARS OF THE GAME:
3rd – Dave Liang (1G, 2A)
2nd – Eric Phelps (W, SO)
1st – Krishan (3G, 1A)
Pinky Swear $#*! vs My Cup Size Is Stanley
1st Period:
CUP (1-0) – Ramy (1) (assisted by Meatbox) (2:32)
PINK (1-1) – Krishan (1) (unassisted) (3:09)
CUP (2-1) – Meatbox (2) (assisted by Ramy) (7:15)
CUP (3-1) – Danny Swersky (1) (assisted by Source) (8:39)
2nd Period:
CUP (4-1) – Evan (1) (assisted by Meatbox) (8:13)
3rd Period:
CUP (5-1) – Source (1) (unassisted) (4:51)
CUP (6-1) – Eric Higger (1) (assisted by Tom White) (7:55)
CUP (7-1) – Eric Higger (2) (assisted by Tom White) (8:45)
CUP (8-1) – Meatbox (3) (assisted by Carley) (9:41)
GAME NOTES: Cup Size exploded for 8 goals in this one with Angry Meatbox kicking off his revenge tour. Ramy even got in on the action with a goal and an assist and it all combined for an 8-1 ass-kicking. Fans at Cup Size arena who in recent seasons have gotten used to being on the receiving end of these types of beatings were unsure how to react until Hicks took his shirt off and all was right with the world.
THREE STARS OF THE GAME:
3rd – Ramy (1G, 1A)
2nd – Eric Higger (2G)
1st – Meatbox (2G, 2A)
Red Rockets vs MelRose Place
1st Period:
RKT (1-0) – Nicki (1) (assisted by Q Train) (8:30)
MRP (1-1) – Amit (1) (assisted by Jason) (12:28)
2nd Period:
RKT (2-1) – Corey (2) (assisted by Austin Lyons) (1:32)
3rd Period:
RKT (3-1) – Brita (1) (assisted by Austin Lyons) (5:40)
RKT (4-1) – Corey (3) (EN) (unassisted) (10:45)
GAME NOTES: The Rockets jumped out to a 1-0 lead and weathered a mid-game MelRose push to hang on for a much needed 4-1 victory. After the game Scotty could be heard bragging about how he stalked his entire team before the draft via LinkedIn. Not sure how many games they’ll win but if you’re looking to level up your networking game, hit up red.
THREE STARS OF THE GAME:
3rd – Amit (1G)
2nd – Austin Lyons (2A)
1st – Corey (2G)
MelRose Place vs My Cup Size Is Stanley
1st Period:
MRP (1-0) – Paul Chester (1) (assisted by Yehuda) (2:47)
CUP (1-1) – Meatbox (1) (assisted by Matt Stabel) (4:52)
MRP (2-1) – Len (1) (assisted by Matt Reape) (5:56)
CUP (2-2) – Meatbox (1) (assisted by Matt Stabel) (11:31)
2nd Period:
CUP (3-2) – Eric Higger (3) (assisted by Meatbox) (9:20)
CUP (4-2) – Eric HIgger (4) (unassisted) (10:20)
3rd Period:
CUP (5-2) – Eric Higger (5) (assisted by Meatbox) (6:01)
CUP (6-2) – Matt Stabel (1) (unassisted) (9:50)
MRP (3-6) – Tyler (1) (assisted by Matt Reape) (11:43)
MRP (4-6) – Yehuda (1) (assisted by Mel) (12:20)
GAME NOTES: The only points in this game for Cup Size were scored by the line of Hicks-Stabel-Higger. Somehow it was enough for 6 goals, 10 combined points and a 6-4 win for black…this game featured the most badass moment of Yehuda’s life. Wasn’t a particularly high bar to clear but the goal/middle finger to the haters was executed to perfection, much to the chagrin of his rabbi father…Cup Size is now in 1st place in the standings for the first time since Fall 2019. Meanwhile Meatbox is no longer holding out for a trade, the revenge tour is in full swing and NYC’s hottest twitter account is all over it.
Before the game…
After the game…
Slightly more after the game…
During a flip cup match where his team was getting thoroughly dominated…
Calling out Jack & The Muskies for having MelRose take their gameslot that night…
After (somehow) crushing a glass in his hand for absolutely no reason…
And pretty much all of the next day…
I would generally make a snarky comment here but it’s hard to argue with a hashtag as inspired as #vipenis. Good times for the degens of Twitter and for Jenn’s Boobs. See ya next week.
THREE STARS OF THE GAME:
3rd – Matt Stabel (1G, 2A)
2nd – Eric Higger (3G)
1st – Meatbox (2G, 2A)