Week 3 Betting Lines (Fall 2022)

Pregame routine

My Cup Size Is Stanley (-165)
YeHooligan’s Heroes (+120)
Over 6.0 (-130)
Under 6.0 (-110)

Notes: As we run through a sub negotiation that for some reason has me as the middleman, I have no idea who’s actually playing in this game. There’s a few jewish players per team but then some are still playing while some goys are just skipping out, presumably for non-rosh related reasons. Avery and Source are def out, black definitely needs a girl sub, green definitely needs a goalie. Who knows how it will actually shake out. I’m too tired to go into the scenarios so let’s just say black will probably win unless Jenn is really generous with subs, which she won’t be. End of preview.

Shooting Blancs (+115)
Pinky Swear $#*! (-155)

Over 5.5 (-130)
Under 5.5 (-110)

Notes: White’s got serious roster issues going on as Neil is a GTD while Cara and McCauley are both confirmed out. Pink hasn’t reported anything so being a man I’m going to assume everything’s good and there’s no need to share feelings or anything. Maurice complained about games on Yom Kippur when the initial schedule came out so there’s a good chance he’s missing this one but I have nothing to base that on really. Pink got violently dunked on by black Friday night but that was without their top three draft picks. With white suffering heavy personnel losses and pink having a mostly non-Jewish lineup, I must throw my money behind the oddly named pinky swear team. Pink to win, much to the delight of Jess’ face.

The Muskies (-200)
Julie’s Football Club (+155)

Over 6.0 (-120)
Under 6.0 (-120)

Notes: No Ryann and no Annie from purple but they get Annie’s younger sister, on a business trip (obviously) to NYC to sub for the Muskies and Zisser back from his honeymoon and undoubtedly jet lagged/hungover. Orange has a ton of absences and a goalie still TBD. They really don’t qualify for the Jeff Green treatment but seeing as he’ll already be there, not many other goalies will be and he’s the only guy willing to play any amount of games in a night with no regard for his body, not that that’s any different from his off-court life. Muskies were the preseason sportsbook favorite and one game in with a 2 goal comeback missing their 1st rounder later, I don’t see any reason to change course here. As long as Zisser isn’t completely dead, purple to roll.

Shooting Blancs (EVEN)
MelRose Place (-140)

Over 6.0 (-115)
Under 6.0 (-125)

Notes: Despite two Jewish captains, MelRose should have a mostly full lineup aside from rookies Luc & Len while Otis is a GTD. Big bounceback opportunity for yellow who looked great in a season opening upset of Cup Size but not so much in twin losses on Friday night. Meanwhile white has the attendance issues noted earlier in this godforsaken article and I highly doubt they have players who will make this game after missing the first one. This game will be tighter than it seems because white still has Hogg and Simon to hold the fort (with Neil still a GTD), but I think yellow has enough of an edge in ladies and depth to notch the W and get back to .500 on the season.

MelRose Place (-140)
Julie’s Football Club (EVEN)

Over 6.0 (-120)
Under 6.0 (-120)

Notes: Who will show up for orange? Will anyone on yellow ditch their team mid-game? Will we even be able to play this game or are we going to run so violently late on time that my dreams of getting a 5th game in will be viciously dashed like OJ’s dreams of finding the real killer? Questions about for the final game of the night. I’m favoring yellow because they have most of their lineup in and orange is super short on D but playing Tash back there for the entire game isn’t the worst thing either. Over is probably the play here. I need a drink.

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