Oh, Deer! (-2.5 Goals) (-135)
The Golden Girls (+2.5 Goals) (-105)
Over 8.0 (-120)
Under 8.0 (-120)
Notes: Hicks and Tom have been one of the dirtiest combos in the league this season, and when I say dirty I’m of course referring to the quality of their play and not any extracurricular activity that may take place at Sapphires. The Golden Girls have two wins on the season, both last Tuesday when they fielded a full squad. That’s good proof of concept that when they have their full roster, they are far from a last place team. Unfortunately tonight they will not have anything close to a full roster so as such they will likely indeed resemble that last place team, especially with Hicks and Tom in full on deer hunting mode for camo. I think both of these teams have been somewhat underrated by the public all season but looking at these rosters, this could be rough. Deer by 3; over/under is dicey with Simon/Sonj facing off in goal.
Julie’s Football Club (+2.5 Goals) (EVEN)
The Smurfs (-2.5 Goals) (-145)
Over 7.5 (-105)
Under 7.5 (-135)
Notes: Smurfs will be missing a few key players but in general should have most of the lineup in for the season finale. Blue becomes the first team to wrap up their entire schedule at 6:50 by virtue of half the teams in this league requesting the first three weeks off, which was completely insane and almost ruined my passover. A win would clinch top two seeding for the Smurfs and most like #1 overall but orange is definitely in the more desperate spot as they are jockeying for middle-of-the-pack standings position and want desperately to avoid the play-in bracket which necessitates extra games where anything can happen, especially if Zisser shows up hungover. I have no idea who’s in for the football club and think they actually submitted their finest effort of the season last week in a tight loss to red. But I don’t think they have quite enough to take down a loaded Smurfs team looking to rebound from last week’s loss that was so bad a one legged man came off the bench in relief. Just total disaster. I’ve got blue by 3.
Mel’s Power Trip (+115)
Oh, Deer! (-160)
Over 6.5 (-120)
Under 6.5 (-120)
Notes: Sneaky sneaky game and so tough to handicap. Looking at standings and recent results, this is a total mismatch. But Oh Deer has been underrated by the public all season in my opinion while Power Trip may be slightly overrated. That said, I keep saying that and they just keep winning games so perhaps it is actually me who is overrated (unlikely). But also, The Power Trip won’t have Liang, Russo or Pelletier for this one so I legitimately have no idea who is going to score for this team besides Keith. Will a hero emerge? Will that hero look like this?
I suppose we will find out but my money is on this guy ripping a shower beer then spending the game running in circles and banging his stick angrily each time camo scores, as is tradition. Oh Deer in kind of but also not really upset fashion.
Mel’s Power Trip (EVEN)
Julie’s Football Club (-145)
Over 5.0 (-145)
Under 5.0 (EVEN)
Notes: It’s absolutely insane that I’m giving a 5.0 over/under for a game that’s not the championship but these teams are so god damn low scoring and both are missing some of the few players who actually score goals. And Jeff Green vs Zisser is as good a matchup as you’ll find, both in the crease and in the champagne room of Scores (official sponsor of our box scores!) (not really but they should be!). I can’t believe I’m saying this but the under at even money is enticing. The game itself is likely to be a defensive slugfest the likes of which we haven’t seen since…well, since yellow’s last game.
Mojo Jojo (+1.0 Goals) (+140)
Merry Pranksters (-1.0 Goals) (-200)
Over 6.5 (-120)
Under 6.5 (-120)
Notes: These teams faced off last week and despite heavy absences for green it was a tight game to the finish, with the difference being timely goals by Jo, Gelman and Robyn who is making a strong push to have her name mentioned as part of the big 3 for tie dye. Tonight Gelman hasn’t responded to my text on his lineup except to say he’s probably out as captain next season (RIP) which makes this potentially the last ride of the Pranksters. It’s the strongest team they’ve ever had, but I think this game will be sneaky close if both teams have full lineups. I would probably take green +1 but I also have them rated higher than literally anyone else in the league, including actual players on green, so bet at your own risk.
The Hart Foundation (+110)
Mojo Jojo (-155)
Over 6.5 (-120)
Under 6.5 (-120)
Notes: No idea what is happening in this late game. Kolenberg hasn’t responded to my text and these are two of the most confusing teams out there. Like I still believe either one can beat any team on the right day, but it also appears they can also lose to any team on the wrong day. They’re comfortably rated ahead of the bottom teams although Oh Deer is making a strong push to break out of that lower bracket. As Yogi Berra used to say and as I often quote on this page – it’s getting late early this season. Mojo Jojo a week ago only had two games played and this will be their 8th (!). Hart Foundation will be playing their 6th here and while I still believe in the Miles/Stern/Kittridge/Ryann combo (how could you not), their goalie rage-quitting and sentencing them to a season of looking for subs may have messed with their cohesion and general mojo. And when it comes to mojo, they’re playing against jojo. Will be a hard fought game, as most pink games are, but look for green to overcome and pick up the win.