Clappin’ Cheeks (-220)
Red Cheeks (+145)
Over 8.0 (-120)
Under 8.0 (-120)
Notes: Cheeks Bowl Part III and both teams seem to be shorthanded. Well, black leopard cheeks certainly are as they have Caitlin subbing for Nicki yet again and prob a guy sub to be named later. Meanwhile red cheeks asked me for a girl sub but also Nate sent me Tarnow and Campbell a random text about Trump at like 1 AM last night which was clearly meant for someone else. No idea what to make of any of this shit except to say Clappin’ is going for a potential shot at 2nd place if the chips fall right, but red is more desperate in general trying to avoid the play-in matchup. A tight matchup with guys like Jack and Flynn out, but I’m still giving the edge to Clappin’.
Les Miserables Song This Game Vaguely Reminds Me Of: The Confrontation. It’s literally a confrontation between two teams playing the third game in their season-long trilogy. No need to overthink it. Tough to tell who represents each of these characters but if I had to choose I’d say Jack is Valjean, reformed thief with a heart of gold, superhuman strength and the voice of Hugh Jackman while the stickler for rules is undeniably Tarnow.
Best Line From Song:
“Dare you talk to me of crime, and the price you had to pay
Every man is born in sin; every man must choose his way“
Julie’s Football Club (-1.5 Goals) (-200)
The Hart Foundation (+1.5 Goals) (+140)
Over 7.0 (-105)
Under 7.0 (-135)
Notes: Massive absences for both teams. Pink is missing Miles, Stern, Kittridge and presumably others as they have six guys and three girls coming while orange has serious issues of their own. All three of their ladies will be in attendance which is electric but they only have six guys playing. They also have Sonj in goal for Zisser. This is literally the most women per capita in a D5 game we have maybe ever had and I for one am here for it. Save the sausage fest for when Hicks arrives. Annie may be outta town but it is for sure Ladies Night in this one.
Les Miserables Song This Game Vaguely Reminds Me Of: Lovely Ladies. Julie’s Football Club drafted Tash and Cherie as maybe the best 1-2 punch this league has ever seen and also has Julie as captain and Sonj subbing in net while pink has 54% of their guys but 100% of their girls showing up. It should be noted that I do not necessarily think any of the women in this game are 19th century French Prostitutes but this song seemed appropriate, especially since for the first 15 years of listening to this song I missed the sarcasm and thought it was actually about some lovely ladies hanging out in the park. Oh to be young and naive again.
Best Line:
“Poor men, rich men, leaders of the land
See them with their trousers off, they’re never quite as grand“
Red Cheeks (-170)
Julie’s Football Club (+125)
Over 6.0 (-145)
Under 6.0 (EVEN)
Notes: These teams are supposedly negotiating subs. Friday games are such a shitshow. Does anyone care? Ok, back to Les Mis.
Les Miserables Song This Game Reminds Me Of: At The End Of The Day. My personal dark horse pick for best song on the entire soundtrack, this song opens the post-initial time jump sequence and shows the horrific working conditions of the French peasants. It has the beggers outlining how shitty their lives are as 19th century serfs. “At the end of the day you’re another day older, and that’s all you can say for the life of the poor.” And you thought your life was tough – that is just bleak. Les Miserables was originally written by Victor Hugo as The Wire or The Jungle of its time, showing sympathy for the lack of upward mobility of the time. Both these teams can go a long way towards escaping the play-ins tonight and this game will prove pivotal towards seeding. Hopefully they both end the night in better shape than poor 19th century Fantine who gets totally shafted by her co-workers over some petty gossip and by her boss over her refusal to sleep with him. Some things really never change.
Best Line:
“You play a virgin in the light
But need no urging in the night“
The Hart Foundation (+2.0 Goals) (+140)
Oh, Deer! (-2.0 Goals) (-200)
Over 8.0 (EVEN)
Under 8.0 (-145)
Notes: Hicks and Tom will be there. Miles and Stern will not. That just about concludes the hockey portion of this preview. If you enjoy money, consider betting on camo. Hicks thinks he’s Valjean, and he does possess raw strength but he’s probably more like a combination between Javert and the brothel owner (Mr Thenardier).
Les Miserables Song This Game Reminds Me Of: Look Down. The first iteration of this song is the opener where Valjean first showcases his bizarre superhuman strength by singlehandedly lifting a giant flag but this is undoubtedly the better version, the opener after the time jump with the beggers. And tonight, pretty much every team is a begger with severely shorthanded rosters ubiquitous throughout the evening. Fun fact: the second stanza in the movie was written just for the film; in the original cast recording (and pretty much every pre-2013 version of the show), the second stanza is a begger lady yelling at a prostitute. She tells her to get off her turf, the hooker says at least she gives customers some pleasure in return, then the begger accuses her of spreading STDs. Then a dude rolls in and clarifies that one of them has the clap. You may think I’m making this up but that is 100% what happens. Situation escalated very quickly although honestly it sounds no different than a typical Friday night at Dorrian’s Whorrian’s. Which reminds me – see ya there.
Best Line From The Song:
“This was the land that fought for liberty
Now when we fight, we fight for bread
Here is the thing about equality
Everyone’s equal when they’re dead.“
OR
“Leave the poor old cow
Move it, Madeleine
She used to be no better
Til the clap got to her brain.“