Sexperts (+180)
Merry Pranksters (-265)
Over 4.5 (-110)
Under 4.5 (-130)

Notes: This game was tied 0-0 with 3:59 remaining in the 1st period before some freak rain caused it to be postponed two weeks ago and before some truly bizarre dew all over the rink caused last nights games to be postponed…until tonight, when we will look to finally wrap up the Fall 2024 season and move into a long and sad offseason of skiing and pond hockey til we actually miss ball hockey again come March. A true toss-up leading up to the week and in the 10 minutes played last week, Chad is a last minute scratch this week which obviously lowers the win percentage drastically. Will probably still be a close game and likely low scoring if Jack and Sonj play as well as they did in the opening round’s red/blue showdown which ended with one combined goal. That said, the Pranksters were already a slight favorite and have to be even moreso now with Chad out, although Maddy is also a late scratch so KG will be ironmanning this one. When the draw came out this was definitely the toughest section of it, as red would be happy to attest, and it’s a shame one of these teams has to bow out before the final four. Tough game to call either way, even if the public is pretty set on the favorite. I’m taking the under.

Halloweenies (+1.5 Goals) (+140)
My Cup Size Is Stanley (-1.5 Goals) (-200)
Over 6.0 (-120)
Under 6.0 (-120)

Notes: Will once again be mostly recycling what I wrote last week because, well, it’s the same game, the lineups haven’t changed much and I’m tired. The Weenies pulled out an OT victory over the MilkMob in the first round week on a goal by Sarah and she will likely need to bury a few more if they’re going to get by a very deep and very high scoring Cup Size squad. Black hasn’t played a playoff game yet and was set to do so that first playoff night sans Minsky, who didn’t want to play before the marathon. Some lucky last minute unforeseen rain showers gave them a reprieve from the heavens but since last week got rained out as well, it appears that they lost the services of Mikey, meaning they’re going to have to move someone from forward to D (possibly Minsky himself). Orange will surely be looking for revenge after a lopsided 10-0 loss in the regular season but assuming their big 3 don’t miss this one, this game profiles to be significantly closer. Storer and Joe will eat minutes and probably each score multiple points, but whether they can do enough to get by black’s three solid lines of players is a different question. I think this game will be closer than many think but Cup Size is likely to advance, even without their top dman.

SEX/PRK (-165)
HWN/CUP (+120)
Over 6.0 (-125)
Under 6.0 (-115)

Notes: Pranksters have been at or near the top of the standings all season, giving up the 2nd least goals in the league, while Cup Size finished second in goals scored. That would be a very classic strength on strength battle where I’d have to favor the defense. Blue and orange were the teams most people complained about preseason but with blue missing Chad and orange having had an up-and-down year with attendance, it’s really anyone’s guess what this matchup looks like. I think in most cases (especially if Cup Size is out), I would have to bet on the under. If black is in this game, take the over.

The Grassholes (-110)
Flickin’ Bean (-130)
Over 6.5 (-160)
Under 6.5 (+115)

Notes: Possibly the marquee game of the night, the Grassholes took care of business in their lone playoff game with a 7-1 drubbing of Tropic Thunder. Bean had a monster regular season but also hasn’t played in three weeks. The storyline to watch here is that Bean are (kind of) the defending champs while Andrew has never lost a playoff game in his D5 career. Pink did handily take the season finale matchup between these teams, but as anyone who’s watched a lot of hockey will tell you, playoffs are an entirely different animal. Also it appears Fitz will miss this matchup and the newest Ren (well, one of them), Jason Reape, will be filling in for the remainder of the playoffs (hopefully just tonight but you never know). Green has to find a way to shut down pink’s top unit while pink has to find a way to keep playing the stellar defense they finished out the season with and hope that the Reape/Fitz replacement is seamless. This one is truly too close to call but I’m probably making a play on the over.

CHAMPIONSHIP GAME
Flickin’ Bean (+185)
The Grassholes (+200)
Merry Pranksters (+220)
My Cup Size Is Stanley (+325)
Halloweenies (+450)
Sexperts (+450)
Over 5.0 (-155)
Under 5.0 (+110)

Notes: Who the fuck knows how this championship game or this night will turn out. Last week I wrote that “if no one is rioting due to the results of the election or this game, I will be satisfied.” The rioting risk has gone down significantly, but never underestimate what could go down post-Dorrian’s and most like post-Taco Bell. See ya tonight.