The Goaldiggers (-160)
Frothing Hyenas (+120)
Over 8.0 (-135)
Under 8.0 (-105)
Notes: The Hyenas will host the Goaldiggers and look to pick up their first win of the season. This would have probably been an easier task if Tarnow and Co weren’t showing up for games like in September but they are back and announced as much with a resounding 6-2 win over the Royals on Friday night. The Jackuum did what he could in goal but a Guido hat trick was too much for Orange to overcome and the Goaldiggers once again look like one of the top teams in the league. The Hyenas had been playing much improved hockey until Fridays disappointing 10-1 loss and will look to get back on track with most of their lineup in except every other year Braun. Red needs to find a way to score some goals as they’re 7th in goals per game – getting traffic in front and convincing Braun to show up for games would be an excellent start. I think there’s too much talent for them not to get a win soon but unfortunately I don’t think tonight is that night. White team wins and moves back into the top four in the standings (and possibly Sylvester’s power rankings).
BONUS LINES:
Most Points In Tonight’s Game
Guido + Tarnow + Andrea (-135)
Danilo + Nate + Metz + Riegler + Kev (-105)
Will Game Go To OT?
Yes (+300)
No (-500)
The Barrel (-130)
Hungry Hippos (-110)
Over 7.5 (-120)
Under 7.5 (-120)
Notes: Doubleheader szn is here as the Hippos open up a particularly brutal with a game against the 1st place Barrel before they face the 2nd place Ducks. LJ, Lily and Jeff Green (clearly) are out for this game while Sena and Waldman will jump in in relief. Hicks has already sent out Rains of Castamere memes and eaten Taco Bell today which can only mean blood, either during the game or in the bathroom. This rivalry is red hot right now after Jack, down 3-1 late in the 3rd, injured the Hippo goalie (Max filling in) causing Casca to come in cold with no warmup from the stands. Barrel promptly scored three goals and somehow escaped with a regulation win. Jack is now in serious jeopardy of getting slapshots fired at him all game and word on the street is Jason Campbell woke up with a full on hate-boner. I had this line preset at Barrel -145 before all these reports started filing in of Hippos players wanting revenge and rolling into this game completely fired up. I have no choice but to move this game to a virtual toss-up…Barrel still have a slight edge but Waldman subbing in net should be fresh after a week off and the Hippos are psyched. I’m marking this as the McQuade special trap game and staying away at all costs.
*this preview has been edited to reflect that Scotty is in the Grand Canyon in the nude right now and thus will presumably be missing tonight’s game
BONUS LINES:
Most Points In Tonight’s Game
Derek + Jack (-125)
Hicks + Jason + Sena + Cheeky (-115)
Most Points In Tonight’s Game
Meatbox (-110)
Jackbox (-130)
Most Points In Tonight’s Game
Annie (-105)
Cheeky (-135)
Will Game Go To OT?
Yes (+300)
No (-500)
Hungry Hippos (+110)
The Sexy Ducks (-150)
Over 7.5 (-120)
Under 7.5 (-120)
Notes: All eyes will be on the newly rebranded Preworkout Bowl as the Hippos wrap up their doubleheader with the artist formerly known as the Fireball Bowl. After several seasons of the Fireball just being paid all at once at a random party causing many needless deaths, the same preworkout which will be served on platters by bow tied waiters on each bench will serve as the prize for the winning team. After subbing in for them the previous game, Waldman will look to shut out the Hippos while Steve Friedman comes in off the top rope to rejoin his former team where he made magic happen. The Ducks will look to continue their momentum from Friday night where they set the league record for goals in a game while Meg came back from a two and a half month absence to set league records for assists and points in a game and vault immediately into the top 10 in league scoring. Meatbox and Co will no doubt be ripping steroids between games to keep their energy up but are they risking a letdown with the lions share of their anger being directed at revenge on Jack in the previous matchup? Blue bettors certainly hopes so and the line reflects a possible letdown. Friedman will be key if they’re going to pull the upset and possibly complete the Hippos double win parlay (+285). I personally am taking the over in what should be a fast paced back-and-forth affair, although these blue/yellow matchups are often tighter than you might expect.
BONUS LINES
Will Hippos Win Both Games Tonight?
Yes (+300)
No (-450)
Most Points In Tonight’s Game
Hicks + Jason + Cheeky + Sena (+105)
Sam + Meg (-145)
Most Points In Tonight’s Game
Hicks + Jason (+115)
Sam + AFrey (-155)
Most Points In Tonight’s Game
Meg (-140)
Cheeky (EVEN)
Will Game Go To OT?
Yes (+330)
No (-550)
My Cup Size Is Stanley (EVEN)
Orange Royals (-140)
Over 7.0 (-105)
Under 7.0 (-135)
Notes: Cup Size will enter the late game without the services of Jenn, Max and a host of players tonight leaving Brad to wear the C as they face the 3rd place Royals. Orange has, as predicted, played significantly better since their trade and is expected to have most of their roster in tow tonight. The strangest thing about this team is how they continue to defy leaguewide trends: while D5 games this season average 7.62 goals per game (kind of absurd), games involving the Royals average only 5.38 goals total. That’s about as many goals as Barrel score per game (5.3) and less than the amount that the Ducks score per game (6). This tight defensive style has helped them pick up a number of impressive victories this season. Zisser will be coming in hot after doing some exciting wedding planning this afternoon and Cherie, Totis and Co will not want to pick up another loss. I’m expecting a tightly contested low scoring game with orange just barely squeaking out a win and holding on to their 3rd place perch with the Hooligans (off this week) and the Goaldiggers nipping at their heels.
*these lines have been adjusted to reflect the fact that ScottyK is currently in the Grand Canyon, presumably in the nude, and thus presumably is not playing tonight
BONUS LINES
Most Points In Tonight’s Game
Jeff + Neil + Brad + Ryann (-120)
Sean + Malik + Otis + Cherie (-120)
Most Points In Tonight’s Game
Ryann (-120)
Malik (-120)
Will Game Go To OT?
Yes (+275)
No (-450)