Week 11 Betting Lines (Summer 2022)

#TBT to Hicks subjected me to a full day of harassment before last year’s Fireball Bowl

Pink Lemonade (+125)
MelRose Place (-170)
Over 5.5 (-120)
Under 5.5 (-120)

Notes: The only good news about doing these previews yet again is I was able to just cut and paste the template from last week. The bad news is I actually have to fill them with different words. Ugh. No one has asked me for subs this week so I have to assume most teams are basically solid lineup-wise. MelRose can technically move up to 4th place with a regulation win and a lot of help but it’s highly unlikely; more realistically they’re gunning for the 6 seed which would get them a bye through the play-in games. Pink Lemonade, meanwhile, is only playing for pride: they’re currently in 9th, can’t move down even with a loss and a win can only move them up to 8th which means they’re locked into the 8v9 matchup. Without knowing anything about either lineup (besides that Cam is subbing in goal for pink) and just based on the motivation factor alone, I have to think MelRose comes out much hungrier and picks up the W, even if Ramy has no idea who’s on his team on any given shift.

Hungry Hippos (+150)
Julie’s Football Club (-190)

Over 3.0 (-125)
Under 3.0 (-130)

Notes: Nothing has changed from last week in this matchup so enjoy this recycled preview

The first and last games of the night are regular games; the middle four, starting with this one, are minis. This season’s Hippos are tough to figure out: on the one hand they’re the only team to beat the rockets in regulation (even though all their goals that game were scored by a sub) and have generally looked solid. On the other hand they’ve lost two in a row to teams below them in the standings, are last in goals scored and Braun might be out for the season either due to injury or general cowardice. Meanwhile the Football Club are currently firing on all cylinders, having barely lost to the Rockets on Thursday before winning a spirited battle against the Walleyes. I’ve been told they’re rocking a basically full roster tonight; thus I have no choice but to bet the house on orange to take this one down.

My Cup Size Is Stanley (+115)
Hungry Hippos (-155)

Over 3.5 (-130)
Under 3.5 (-110)

Notes: Cup Size has 3 wins on the season: two in minigames against likely play-in teams and one more in a Friday night game where they were allowed to use Tash as a sub even though she was the top lady drafted this season. It’s been a tough season in boobland but Braun remains out, possibly for the season, and black seems to have most of their lineup in for this one minus Jason Campbell. Tough game to handicap but I still believe the Hippos are the better team top-to-bottom and thus deserve to be slightly favored in this minigame, even if black does seem to play well in minigame situations. Motivation-wise, black could maybe move out of the play-ins but would need a crazy set of circumstances while yellow badly needs a win to give them a 50/50 shot of getting a top 4 seed. Slight edge: Hippos and the over.

Julie’s Football Club (-140)
Green Street Hooligans (EVEN)
Over 3.5 (-110)
Under 3.5 (-130)

Notes: Part I of the first ever same-day doubleheader between two teams. This is a brutal game to handicap because George is a GTD and that beautiful bearded bastard moves the line with his presence. Hooligans have a full squad and have been hot lately but their wins have all come against either possible or definite play-in teams. Tonight will provide a stiff test as they face orange twice and blue once. Green is the highest variance team in the league and orange has extra high variance tonight with George’s uncertain status. McQuade special which is even more exciting because McQuade’s actually back in NYC. Maybe he’ll pop by for a guest mauling, who knows.

Julie’s Football Club (-135)
Green Street Hooligans (-105)
Over 3.5 (-120)
Under 3.5 (-120)

Notes: Same general outlook as above except in the 2nd game of a back-to-back I expect the margin to be tighter between the teams. Edge still goes to orange but that’s also because I’m expecting George to show up like Batman and take his standard 15 slapshots per game. Both teams are looking to cash in on their outside chance at 2nd place. I don’t think either will do it, but one of these teams is likely the 3 seed. I’m betting it’s the Football Club.

Green Street Hooligans (+110)
SexAzul Tension (-155)
Over 5.5 (-110)
Under 5.5 (-130)

Notes: Ariel, Joe and Izzy are all out for blue while green looks to have a mostly full lineup for this one. Blue has locked up 1st place and thus is only playing for history; with a win, Sex becomes the first team since the inaugural Spring 2018 season to go undefeated in the regular season, matching the 6-0 Cheetahs. Doing it without three top picks and in the face of green being extra stingy with subs despite requesting 1st round level subs when we were supposed to play last week won’t be easy, but it’s certainly feasible. Tough to say which team will be more motivated for this one but blue moneylines have been good all season and I’m sticking with it, despite what Sam might say. Sex to close out a truly sexual season with a 10th straight victory and the first modern-era undefeated season.

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