Merry Pranksters (-165)
The Seahorses (+120)
Over 7.0 Goals (-135)
Under 7.0 Goals (-105)
Notes: These teams already met a few weeks ago as the Pranksters triumphed to their only win of the season thus far, a 3-1 Friday night decision. Tonight their goalie Doug is out of action but they will be featuring the return of one of the league’s pre-covid goalies and the guy who gave us Yehuda, for better or for worse, Eitan. The man hasn’t played ball hockey in several years but has been playing roller, doing standup and on a mission to get into the Guinness Book of Records by throwing out an insane amount of first pitches in ballparks across the country this summer (true story). But for tonight, his mission is much simpler: make one Jewish person very happy (Gelman) while making another (Mel) incredibly sad. I should also note that Adam Herman texted me this morning with the shocking news that he is, incredibly, the leading goal scorer in this game. Once again, this is a serious thing.
Hate to see it. In any case, I’ve got Pranksters slightly favored but with the Seahorses playing significantly better as of late due to Tom’s attendance and James’ ascension, I’m expecting a close game that could really go either way.
SexyBack (-1.5 Goals) (-180)
UPS (+1.5 Goals) (+135)
Over 8.0 Goals (-130)
Under 8.0 Goals (-110)
Notes: After a few weeks of games that featured a lot of blowouts, tonight looks to feature a bunch of competitive matchups that could really go either way. Cardello’s return matchup against the franchise with whom he won his first D5 cup last season is sure to have a little of everything: goals, laughs, tears and likely more than one bodycheck into the boards (hopefully not on me). UPS’ defense has been much maligned all season, with one power ranker noting that they’re delivering packages (goals) to the wrong houses (their own net). A truly astute observation but I must note that their most recent game, even if it did come against a shorthanded red squad, was by far their best as they actually showed a commitment to team defense and backchecking that had been noticeably lacking in previous weeks en route to a 4-1 victory. Will it be enough tonight against an undefeated blue team, albeit one that’s needed OT in their past two and will be playing with Sam yet again tonight? I see this game being high scoring and probably one of the most exciting of the evening. And with Jack, Hicks and Cardello on the other side, certainly the sexiest as well. This is, after all, the latest edition of the Bad Boy Mowers Pirate Bowl which longtime league fans know is truly a tradition unlike any other. Whatever the score ends up being, there will be a whiteclaw shotgun after the game – that much I can promise you. Who survives to take it is anyones guess.
The Seahorses (+150)
UPS (-225)
Over 7.0 Goals (-165)
Under 7.0 Goals (+120)
Notes: Tonka day rolls on here as UPS and Seahorses face off on the back-end of a doubleheader for both squads. I know that brown has been looking forward to this matchup pretty much since draft night when Hicks and Cardello immediately started giving Mel the business at Gem Saloon about how much better their team was than hers and how they were going to wear yellow in their head-to-head matchup this season. I have no idea if the jersey swap situation is actually going to happen but one things for certain: I’m expecting goals in this game, plenty of them, and most of them to come from brown. UPS to deliver for Cardello on his birthday.
SexyBack (-2.0 Goals) (-120)
White Walkers (+2.0 Goals) (-120)
Over 7.0 Goals (-105)
Under 7.0 Goals (-135)
Notes: This is a rematch of last week’s White Walkers debut matchup which they actually led 2-0 more than halfway through before a sexy comeback led to a Brooke OT winner. Fresh off becoming probably the first player in league history to have OT winners in back-to-back games, she’ll look to maybe contribute in regulation as well in this one as, once again, blue will be without the services of Sam as well as Emily who’s leaving after game one. The White Walkers should have a mostly full lineup except Brad and Swersky and, according to a text message Satok accidentally sent to me instead of Stern, he will be playing D in this game which somewhat hurts their offensive prospects. I see this being a pretty close game actually but due to public perception, have to make blue a two goal fav. There’s decent value here on a redux of game one bet with white to cover and the under. But it’s also possibly Phelps’ last regular season game of his career so who knows how this will go.
My Cup Size Is Stanley (-120)
The GoldMembers (-120)
Over 7.0 Goals (-120)
Under 7.0 Goals (-120)
Notes: Two teams that were supposed to play Friday meet tonight instead with both undoubtedly among the league’s elite, but probably not quite the league’s super elite. It’s basically two teams playing out a story as old as time, struggling to break out from the middle to the upper class. And both will have to do it without top players as black is, according to Jen, “90% missing Jo Robin” while gold will be without Corey and Alex Merone. Phelps is subbing for black in net and who knows how many drinks deep he’ll be by this point in the night. I also have no idea if Joe is playing or not. Not sure if you know this but he is not a particularly big fan of texting and in fact once almost left the captains chat because he was shocked/frightened at how active it gets on certain days. This line assumes he’s playing; no action if he bails. Either way, I’m giving black the slightest of edges solely because Phelps might go into god mode, but all bets are off if a) he’s hammered or b) Joe bails. See ya tonight.