Mace Windu (+1.0 Goals) (+110)
Team Pie Pie (-1.0 Goals) (-155)
Over 5.5 (-110)
Under 5.5 (-130)
Notes: It’s a classic Friday night and by that I mean bizarre sub arrangements on both sides and a confidence in the betting lines that I can only describe as “tenuous.” I received a very random text at 4 PM indicating that “purple will be using the services of Peter and Sanchick, orange will be using the services of Tarnow and Yehuda W” so I guess a deal was hammered out between championship contenders to load this game up with ineligible subs on both sids, although Yehuda will probably never be a 5th rounder again. I did chat with his brother this week and if he ever moves here from Israel, watch out as I’ve been told he combines the speed of Yehuda with not talking nearly as much as Yehuda. Anyways, Pie Pie has to be the favorite for this game but the absences of Russo and Steph are sneaky big; they may not be lottery picks but they both play huge roles in anchoring the 2nd D pair and playing huge minutes as orange’s top girl (although Nicki’s Tuesday night hat trick may have something to say about that). Purple of course is missing more players than they are but they do have a lineup that has very few holes with AJ in net, Fitz up front and Sanchick/Pete/Milstein giving them a solid base on defense. I still give the edge to orange but this one is going to be closer than the public may think based on purple losing last week and orange looking mighty impressive in putting up 7. Sharps are on the under.
Beatin’ Meat Crankin’ Hog (-130)
The Grassholes (-110)
Over 5.5 (-110)
Under 5.5 (-130)
Notes: Green will have KG + Karly subbing in for Ryann + Brooke, plus Sophia in net for Zisser. I had no idea Sophia was subbing this game until I texted her to see if she was available to sub some games tonight and she told me Simon already got her into this one. How the hell Simon is sorting out goalie sub arrangements when he’s not on either of these teams, not subbing for either of these teams or affiliated with league management in any capacity except for occasional 3rd string referee is beyond me but he did save me a bit of work in this case so I’m not hating it. Meanwhile for Meat/Hog, they’ll have Corey making his season debut in net which is an exciting development as when I saw him early in the season when he came to cheer them on, he made it sound like he was still injured and possibly not playing all season which certainly begged the question why he registered and paid. But apparently he’s all healed up and ready to go and just in time for a maroon squad that, on the heels of a rebrand and a blockbuster trade, look poised to turn it up as we head into the playoffs. The uncertainty around Corey’s health and the sub situation on green add a lot of question marks to this game, but pretty much every game tonight has a ton of question marks. It’s a probable toss-up, but I’m leaning towards hog to put together their first win streak of the season.
The Blue Streakers (EVEN)
Mace Windu (-145)
Over 6.5 (-120)
Under 6.5 (-120)
The Blue Streakers (-120)
Silver Stallions (-120)
Over 7.0 (-120)
Under 7.0 (-120)
Notes: 2019 was a simpler time in many respects. Covid wasn’t a thing. Inflation still manageable. The league just about a year old and still figuring out just how much we could push the envelope in doing whatever the hell we wanted (answer turned out to be “a lot”). And for some reason, a hot new trend was on the rise as, with absolutely zero goalies available to do the early game in week one and league gear still being a thing before local vagrants stole and sold it for drug money, Meg made her goalie debut. And while she definitely let in a few from center ice, she also held her team in it for an OT and then delivered a win in a shootout where she made multiple big saves. It was truly one for the ages.
Fast forward a few weeks and whispers were abound that other players, many of whom were doing power hours with myself and Meg on a near weekly basis, were trying to get in on the action. And so it was that on a random Friday night in October, when I was missing my first D5 game of all time at a wedding in Nashville years before I would know that city for being the place where Hicks spends thousands of dollars on funny signs and the rest of the team makes bets on how long Zisser will survive in Whiskey Row before ejection, I signed a lucrative rookie contract with The Jackuum to make his debut in net for a 2nd place blue team with championship aspirations. As you might expect, reaction was…mixed.
And by mixed, I mean AK threatened to hold out unless he was named starter, no matter how many times I explained to him that we badly needed him to play center. He simply did not care.
Austin being somewhat dramatic at times, he took his grievances to Facebook. It was extremely difficult to explain to my college friends at a pregame for our fantasy commissioner’s wedding exactly why I kept having to fire off emails and Facebook replys in between rounds of shots.
For his part, Jack ignored the record levels of hate going on and focused on business. As is tradition.
Although he may have lost that game in OT, most reports even by previously skeptical league members were that he played well. It was a real Rocky type ending; he lost, but he won some respect. Not enough for people to start giving him consistent starts in net, but some. And so it was that after the whole Covid ordeal, once ball hockey came back and goalies were once again in short supply, I tapped him again to sub for LBS against Cobra Kai. Let’s just say excitement was high…from Jack.
In the days ahead I would frequently get random morning texts like this.
All this to say that time is a flat circle and almost exactly three years after the golden age of player-goalies came to an abrupt end when AK finally got his shot in net and subbed a Friday night game in net for Jenn and allowed Neil to score a league record six goals in a game, we are bringing it back. Tonight, with Max in Arizona drinking since 9 AM this morning (seriously), the blue franchise will be giving another young goalie a shot at the big time as D5 champion and former Player of the Year Ryan Levine makes his debut between the pipes in a doubleheader. There is all sorts of excitement out there to see if he’s any good and/or if he throws the game to shave points. And the fact that it will happen for Jack’s team in his final season – simply marvelous. If only Meg was here to see this instead of dead pregnant in Colorado.
He’s bought a glove and blocker, he’s possibly using gear from the women’s league, he played in a scrimmage last week and gave up some bad goals…whats not to love? Oh, and purple and silver are missing some players. Purple no Merone or Ariel and Reape/Rys GTDs. Silver no Pigozzi or Ken or Abada. It’s all up to D5’s newest goalie. Will he follow in the footsteps of the proud players-turned-goalies of the past or will he be banned from goaltending forevermore? We shall find out tonight circa 8:00. Place your bets.
BONUS LINES
Levine Total Goals Allowed
Over 6.5 (-145)
Under 6.5 (EVEN)
Levine Goalie Wins
Over 1.0 (EVEN)
Under 1.0 (-145)
Levine Points As Goalie
Over 0.5 (+200)
Under 0.5 (-385)
My Cup Size Is Stanley (-135)
Silver Stallions (-105)
Over 5.5 (-110)
Under 5.5 (-130)
Notes: Jenn’s got Fullam, Dello and AJ subbing. Silver’s got basically the same lineup as the previous game. Does either team have any crazy players subbing in net? No? BORING. It’s really close to toss-up territory but black has one of those Friday night lineups I tend to favor. Tight game but Cup Size I guess. Would be more fun if Jenn was in net, but alas.