The MilkMob (+140)
Pizza Rats (-200)
Over 6.0 Goals (-120)
Under 6.0 Goals (-120)
Notes: The opening matchup of the playoffs sees two of the loudest captains in history looking to go nuts after goals and avenge seasons that were perhaps slightly disappointing, much of that due to attendance issues. It’s a pretty tight matchup with the goaltending and defense of the Pizza Rats taking on the speed and insanity of the MilkMob. The public doesn’t seem to think so.
73% vs 27% is a split we normally see reserved for something like a 1v4 matchup or a 5v8, yet these teams were separated by one spot in the standings. Of course, Cup Size taking D5’s first ever forfeit in the season finale handed MilkMob the win (and also made them the league’s highest scoring team by virtue of an official 21-0 victory) but I don’t see this game being a blowout either way, especially with Jeff and APK in nets. I’m a big MilkMob fan and have season tickets, but I do see the rats likely prevailing on the strength of playoff Meatbox and Maddy’s career season. 4-2 teal.
Silver Stallions (+2.0 Goals) (-145)
Crankin’ Hog (-2.0 Goals) (EVEN)
Over 6.5 Goals (-120)
Under 6.5 Goals (-120)
Notes: These teams met early in the season and despite what you (and the public) likely assume, the Stallions mounted an impressive comeback and held on for a 5-4 win. The Stallions in fact were rated fairly high in the preseason power ranks and were in the middle of the pack standings-wise until a late season swoon that not coincidentally coincided with Ken missing the last five games of the season. I’m expecting a full lineup for them tonight while Hog will have Andrew Gillen and Kate Hall with Sanchick, Nick and Ellie out for the season. It’s been an up-and-down season for maroon but they do seem to have mostly rounded into form these past few weeks, even if they’re not quite as overpowering as they have been in past seasons. The public certainly seems to think they have enough to roll through this one. I’m not sure if I’m willing to go that far as silver is a gritty team with a ton of veteran savvy. Hog to prevail, Stallions to cover.
MILK/RAT (+2.0 Goals) (-110)
The Blue Streakers (-2.0 Goals) (-130)
Over 6.0 Goals (-115)
Under 6.0 Goals (-125)
Notes: The public is all over blue for this one in what was the most lopsided result of the entire playoff poll.
Obviously I’m a somewhat biased source, and blue has a bunch of absences of their own that no one is talking about. But as long as Jack and Annie are still New York residents and Chad doesn’t find a rave on his way to the rink, it’s going to take some Jeff Green or APK heroics to eliminate the Streakers this early. To be fair, Jeff Green has quietly had one of the best seasons of his career, overshadowed somewhat by Campbell putting up legit historic numbers, But I’m rolling with the Streakers spread and possibly the under.
Silver Stallions (+1.5 Goals) (-120)
The Grassholes (-1.5 Goals) (-120)
Over 6.0 Goals (-120)
Under 6.0 Goals (-120)
Crankin’ Hog (-1.5 Goals) (-145)
The Grassholes (+1.5 Goals) (EVEN)
Over 6.0 Goals (-120)
Under 6.0 Goals (-120)
Notes: Stallions vs Grass would be an interesting matchup of veteran teams that didn’t meet in the regular season. The public seems to think there’s close to no chance of that happening but if it does, I’m all over the silver spread as a sneaky underdog that pretty much no one from the public will be betting on. No really – Google didn’t even have room to put the percent # in the graph. Pretty disrespectful from big tech tbh.
As for Grassholes vs Hog – this was all set to be one of the games of the night but with Andrew and Kolenberg confirmed out for green, the defense and the franchise’s title defense hopes just took a major hit. There is enough veteran savvy and high end skill between Stern, Ryann, Mitch, Brooke and co to pull the upset, but against a locked and loaded Crankin’ Hog squad looking to avenge a disappointing regular season, the odds are stacked against them. I admire Jake’s can-do attitude in refusing to take playoff replacements, saying that they will win or lose with their squad, and sometimes the hockey gods do smile on those who deserve it like when they gave Jack the scoring title this season. But for tonight, they seem to be smiling on maroon. Hog to win and advance.
The MilkMob (+2.5 Goals) (EVEN)
My Cup Size Is Stanley (-2.5 Goals) (-145)
Over 7.0 Goals (-120)
Under 7.0 Goals (-120)
Pizza Rats (+2.0 Goals) (-120)
My Cup Size Is Stanley (-2.0 Goals) (-120)
Over 7.0 Goals (-120)
Under 7.0 Goals (-120)
The Blue Streakers (-1.0 Goals) (-145)
My Cup Size Is Stanley (+1.0 Goals) (EVEN)
Over 6.5 Goals (-130)
Under 6.5 Goals (-110)
Notes: Cup Size vs either Milk or Rats is pretty similar in terms of both matchup strength and public perception to what the previously mentioned blue vs these teams matchup would have been. They’re a multigoal favorite, despite taking a 21-0 loss to MilkMob in their season finale (ok, that game was a forfeit). But the real treat will be a blue vs black matchup which was supposed to happen on the final night of the regular season and would have given blue a chance at the 4 seed but was moved around when multiple weeks got rained out. The public is fairly split with the edge to the 5 seed.
If Commissioner Bowl does happen i do expect it to be the game of the night. And despite Sonj and Max in net, I expect it to be fairly high scoring. Give me the over or give me death.
Silver Stallions (+2.0 Goals) (-120)
Mace Windu (-2.0 Goals) (-120)
Over 6.0 Goals (-120)
Under 6.0 Goals (-120)
Crankin’ Hog (+1.0 Goals) (+140)
Mace Windu (-1.0 Goals) (-200)
Over 6.0 Goals (-120)
Under 6.0 Goals (-120)
The Grassholes (+2.0 Goals) (+115)
Mace Windu (-2.0 Goals) (-160)
Over 6.0 Goals (-120)
Under 6.0 Goals (-120)
Notes: I’m as exhausted writing this as I’d imagine silver or maroon will be if they have to play a third game of the night at a likely start time around 10:45. I will say this – none of these matchups grades as easy for purple as it may seem at first glance and despite what the public believes.
If the matchup is silver, it’s a silver team that barely lost to them on the first night of the season, then beat them 4-2. If it’s green, it’s a team that will be desperate to pick up just one more win to get their full squad back in tow next week, and with a goalie who’s known for stealing games out of nowhere. And if it’s Hog, it’s a team which is perennially among the league’s elite peaking at the right time and with Ryan playing his likely final game of the season (he’s out of town next week), he’ll leave it all out there in an attempt to put them in position to make it to the final four. Any of these games would be kind of fun and interesting in their own ways. But ultimately, I do think purple will find a way to prevail. Mace by exactly two. See ya tonight.