Green Street Hooligans (+110)
The Sexy Ducks (-150)
Over 8.0 (-130)
Under 8.0 (-110)
Notes: The first Week 12 in league history kicks off with the Hooligans rolling into Duckville coming off an emotional come-from-behind OT victory against the Goaldiggers last week. Unfortunately Austin was understandably concerned that he would get laid out at center ice on the first shift and is taking the cowards way out in going to NJ for Devils/Kraken rather than linebrawling the blue team. Sad times for fans, gamblers and street fighters alike. In any case, this is the Hooligans’ game in hand on the Royals; if they get a point, they’ll at least temporarily pass them in the standings for 4th place. The difference between 4 and 5 in the standings is a bye past the play-in round and will be tightly contested for the rest of the season. The Ducks are locked in their own dogfight for a top two seed but will be missing Ariel, McCauley, Caitlin and Nicki tonight with Mel subbing in and Kevin making his first appearance since opening day. Poor guy played the opening game of the 2020 season, then covid ruined everyone’s life, registered for this season even though he hasn’t lived in the city and now he’s finally back and ready to score goals and do the dog peeing celly (at least that’s what Sylvester told me when he sexted me last weekend). In addition, Sully is a risk to be late while Sam is a risk to only play the 1st period and then have to take a work call in the stands. I offered him a bluetooth headset so he could take the call while playing but it doesn’t seem that is in the cards. D5 bettors will be closely monitoring these developments as they viciously hammer the over in what should be another high scoring game (first meeting between these teams was 6-3).
UPDATE: Pags/Seb/Bravo/Shannon out, Burns in. Public hammering blue, line adjusted.
BONUS LINES
First Period Total
Over 2.5 (-110)
Under 2.5 (-130)
Who Will Score More Points?
Meg + Sam + Sully (-160)
Probie + Burns + Austin Lyons (+120)
Who Will Score More Points?
Sully (-140)
Burns (EVEN)
Goal In Last Five Minutes Of Regulation?
Yes (-175)
No (+125)
The Barrel (-110)
The Goaldiggers (-130)
Over 8.0 (-115)
Under 8.0 (-125)
Notes: Jack is back from Hawaii and his team is celebrating by taking a shit on his chest. Derek is out tonight as are Henry, Westley, even Annie…at press time, Barrel have three rostered guys and two ladies playing. Waldman will be subbing in at forward, as will Brandon of NABHL fame and one male and one female sub to be named later. While Barrel will field a decent lineup, losing Derek is an absolutely massive blow and playing with the minimum roster of 6 guys 3 girls is brutal against a fast team like the Goaldiggers. As such, purple is the underdog in this one for what I must assume is the first time all season. They’re comfortably in first coming into today but should they lose this game, things would get extremely interesting as they would be only 10 points ahead of white with the Goaldiggers having four games in hand; should the Ducks win tonight, they too would be just 10 points back with four games in hand. Extreme spice levels brewing in Barrel-land as they rather incredibly play their 3rd to last game of the season. While they have pulled out some impressive wins this season in a variety of tough spots, I have trouble seeing this one going the same way. Bet on white to pull what really shouldn’t be an upset here and make the top of the standings extremely interesting going into the homestretch.
BONUS LINES
First Period Total
Over 2.0 (-140)
Under 2.0 (EVEN)
Who Will Score More Points?
Jack + Waldman (-110)
Guido + Tarnow (-130)
Who Will Score More Points?
All Barrel Ladies (-135)
All Goaldiggers Ladies (-105)
Goal In Last Five Minutes Of Regulation?
Yes (-175)
No (+125)
Frothing Hyenas (+110)
Orange Royals (-150)
Over 8.0 (-110)
Under 8.0 (-130)
Notes: This is the matchup that fans have had circled on their calendars since the trade that shocked the world back in early September. At the time both teams were getting absolutely killed and needed to shake things up. Since then, Orange has won five of eight games to move up to 4th in the standings. The Hyenas still haven’t won a game but have undoubtedly been more competitive than the first two weeks as the additions of Danilo and Courtney helped stabilize their defense. Unfortunately terrible attendance has done them no favors this season as they have had a full lineup maybe once, if that all year. If any type of run towards a higher seed is going to be made, this is the time to start. Lerner, Vanessa and Lorredonna are out for this one but the rest of the lineup is in. This was honestly the toughest over/under to create in the history of the league sportsbook. Games involving red are averaging an incredible 9.3 goals per game while games involving orange average a league low 5.9 goals per game. I’d make that game total the McQuade special of the day with the actual matchup being closer than you might think. With a full roster coming in for this one I think red has a fighting chance but orange should pull it out. I guess the game line is also a McQuade special. Maul some people, make out with some blackjack dealers – do what you will but do not bet on this game, it will probably end as poorly for you as last night did for that dude who had hundreds of thousands riding on the Bills and instead had to watch this happen. Womp womp.
BONUS LINES
First Period Total
Over 2.0 (-135)
Under 2.0 (-105)
Who Will Score More Points?
Metz (-130)
Russo (-110)
Who Will Score More Points?
Cherie + Wagner (-150)
Danilo + Courtney (+110)
Who Will Score More Points?
Saucy + Totis (-125)
Braun + Kev (-115)
Goal In Last Five Minutes Of Regulation?
Yes (-170)
No (+120)
Hungry Hippos (-140)
My Cup Size Is Stanley (EVEN)
Over 7.5 (-130)
Under 7.5 (-110)
Notes: The Hippos and Cup Size are currently on track to meet in the 6/7 play-in game and seeing as there are sizable gaps above and below them in the standings, it seems pretty likely this matchup will stand. Cup Size won’t have Scotty, ChooChoo Cro or Nicole tonight while the Hippos will be without Jeff Green and Dewey (but what else is new). Lily appears to be in for this game but you never really know until you see her on the court and even then it’s probably only 60/40. The Hippos have looked great in their past two games, putting up 12 goals and moving up steadily in the standings. A win here would vault them above Cup Size and with a chance to move up to 4th or 5th by Friday; if the Royals lose to the Hyenas, yellow would be only two points behind orange with a game in hand. These teams are very evenly matched, even with Jeff Green still on his rockin’ van tour of Europe, but as always Hicks has spent a tremendous amount of draft capital on women this year having used 2nd, 4th, 6th and 8th round picks on ladies. I think tonight they will be the key in giving the Hippos a boost and landing them in the 6th seed before the night is over. That is, unless Jenn deals him another brutal, almost definitely illegal prison-style hip check which could definitely happen. Bet on yellow, or bet on violence. Hopefully we get both.
UPDATE: Joe out, mystery yeshiva sub coming in via Max. Proceed with caution.
BONUS LINES
First Period Total
Over 2.0 (-130)
Under 2.0 (-110)
Who Will Score More Points?
Meatbox + Jason + Cheeky (-140)
Jeff + Neil + Ryann (EVEN)
Who Will Score More Points?
DRo + Sarah (-135)
Brad + Sammi (-105)
Goal In Last Five Minutes Of Regulation?
Yes (-180)
No (+130)