Bada Bing vs 96th Street Batards 1st Period:BING (1-0) – Jack (1) (assisted by Russo) (6:27)BING (2-0) – Annie (1) (assisted by Russo) (7:50)BST (1-2)
Author: aryastark1994
Championship Week Betting Lines (Fall 2023)
Big Deke Energy (-120)Red Eyed Peas (-120)Over 8.0 (-120)Under 8.0 (-120) Notes: An elite matchup between two of the elite teams in the league. You
Bonus Content! Ridzik’s Musings On Life (Fall 2023)
Unfortunately I don’t have enough photos of Ridzik for any type of variety in the images I post with his usually unhinged commentary. I’ve known
Playoff Week 1 Betting Lines (Fall 2023)
Bada Bing (+210)96th Street Bastards (-340)Over 8.0 Goals (-120)Under 8.0 Goals (-120) Notes: Finally, the playoffs are back so this calls for the Tony Soprano
Week 9 Box Scores (Fall 2023)
Merry Pranksters vs Jewish Golden Calfs 1st Period:PRK (1-0) – Sam Gelman (15) (assisted by Tom Fitz) (1:49)PRK (2-0) – Pete Guiffre (4) (assisted by
D5 Power Rankings (Pre-Playoff Edition) (Fall 2023)
1) BluebiesAverage Rank: 1.89Highest Rank: 1Lowest Rank: 4Standard Deviation: 1.051st Place Votes: 4 of 9 Comments: Blue remains #1 in the power ranks despite a nasty late-season slide and now needing
Week 8 Box Scores (Fall 2023)
Bluebies vs Merry Pranksters 3rd Period:PRK (1-0) – Sam Gelman (13) (assisted by Tom Fitzgerald) (1:29)BLU (1-1) – Sam (5) (assisted by Corey) (2:03)PRK (2-1)
Week 9 Betting Lines (Fall 2023)
Merry Pranksters (-120)Jewish Golden Calfs (-120)Over 7.5 (-120)Under 7.5 (-120) Notes:Â The Fall 2023 season wraps up this evening with a short two game slate that
Playoff Scenarios (Fall 2023)
Playoff ScenariosThe D5 stats department has attempted to calculate the odds of each possible playoff permutation for the season for your viewing/gambling enjoyment. The methodology
Weeks 6 & 7 Box Scores (Fall 2023)
96th Street Bastards vs Shooting Blancs 1st Period:BLNC (1-0) – Kevin Aylesworth (3) (assisted by Scott Storer) (0:50)BLNC (2-0) – Kevin Aylesworth (4) (assisted by
Week 8 Betting Lines (Fall 2023)
Bluebies (-1.5 Goals) (-145)Merry Pranksters (+1.5 Goals) (EVEN)Over 7.5 (-130)Under 7.5 (-110) Notes: The Pranksters finally have their big guns in for a game as Gelman will be
Week 7 Betting Lines (Fall 2023)
Jewish Golden Calfs (-105)Red Eyed Peas (-135)Over 7.5 (-120)Under 7.5 (-120) Notes: Sadly we are not leading off this round of previews with any Zisser waterfall related content
Week 6 Betting Lines (Fall 2023)
96th Street Bastards (+120)Shooting Blancs (-165)Over 7.5 (-110)Under 7.5 (-130) Notes:Â It’s that magical day of the year that everyone looks forward to when the world
Fall 2023 Prop Bets (Updated Week 6 Lines)
District Five ChampionshipBlue (+155)Red (+240)White (+240)Black, Yellow or Tie Dye (+300)Pink, Gold or Purple (+300) Which Team Will Finish Higher In The Standings?Jewish Golden Calfs
Week 5 Box Scores (Fall 2023)
Red Eyed Peas vs Big Deke Energy 1st Period:BDE (1-0) – Jay Travers (1) (unassisted) (10:47)3rd Period:BDE (2-0) – Mitch (1) (assisted by Joe Magosin)
Week 4 Box Scores (Fall 2023)
Shooting Blancs vs Merry Pranksters 1st Period:BLNC (1-0) – Scott Storer (2) (assisted by Adam Satok) (3:06)BLNC (2-0) – Zach Flynn (1) (assisted by Simon)
Week 5 Betting Lines (Fall 2023)
Red Eyed Peas (-120)Big Deke Energy (-120)Over 9.0 (-120)Under 9.0 (-120) Notes: The Lonely Island themed betting lines for week 4 were so well received that I
Week 4 Betting Lines (Fall 2023)
Shooting Blancs (-3.5 Goals) (-160)Merry Pranksters (+3.5 Goals) (+115)Over 8.5 (-110)Under 8.5 (-130) Notes: Yes indeed it is week 4 of the Fall 2023 season despite what your
The Top 25 D5 Videos Of All Time (Part III: The Top 10)
Previous Entries: Part I, Part II After sifting through more D5 videos than I care to recount, we’ve finally made it to the end of
The Top 25 D5 Videos Of All Time (Part II: 25-11)
Previous Entry: The Honorable Mentions Part I of this series on D5 videos throughout the years delved into the honorable mentions. But you didn’t come
The Top 25 D5 Videos Of All Time (Part I: The Honorable Mentions)
What makes a great video? People have been trying to figure this out for years. Hollywood studio executives are fucking this up to this very
Fall 2023 Prop Bets (Post-Hiatus Lines)
After a long than expected hiatus, we are somehow back in just one week’s time. In lieu of a really nice welcome back email about
Week 3 Box Scores (Fall 2023)
On Tuesdays We Wear Pink vs Merry Pranksters1st Period:PNK (1-0) – Mike Stern (3) (assisted by Steve Rys) (12:59)2nd Period:PNK (2-0) – Tash (1) (assisted
Weeks 1 & 2 Box Scores (Fall 2023)
Big Deke Energy vs Red Eyed Peas 2nd Period:RED (1-0) – Matt Lewis (1) (assisted by Cole) (1:42)RED (2-0) – Campbell (1) (assisted by Tarnow)
Week 3 Betting Lines (Fall 2023)
On Tuesdays We Wear Pink (+2.0 Goals) (-105)Merry Pranksters (-2.0 Goals) (-135)Over 7.0 (-120)Under 7.0 (-120) Notes: Sick throwback pic to the time it rained during the semis
Week 2 Betting Lines (Fall 2023)
Merry Pranksters (+120)Bada Bing (-165)Over 7.0 (-120)Under 7.0 (-120) Notes: The purple team becomes the final team to open their Fall campaign as they raise the banner, welcome
Week 1 Betting Lines (Fall 2023)
Big Deke Energy (-180)Red Eyed Peas (+135) Notes: Red enter the season with their lowest preseason ranking since Nate took over and with some skepticism about
D5 Power Rankings (Preseason Ranks) (Fall 2023)
1) BluebiesAverage Rank:Â 2.88Highest Rank:Â 1Lowest Rank:Â 6Standard Deviation:Â 2.881st Place Votes:Â 4 of 8 Comments:Â In my biased opinion, this is the team to beat with strength at every position
Fall 2023 Prop Bets (Opening Lines)
District Five ChampionshipUntitled Sex Team (+220)On Tuesdays We Wear Pink (+270)Shooting Blancs (+325)Bada Bing (+325)Jewish Golden Calfs (+325)Big Deke Energy (+420)96th Street Bastards (+575)Red Eyes
Championship Week Lines (Summer 2023)
The Lavender Llamas (-120)MelRose Place (-120)Over 6.0 (-110)Under 6.0 (-130)Notes: The Llamas were left for dead by much of the public, evidenced by the results of
Playoff Week 1 Betting Lines (Summer 2023)
The Mighty Mensches (+2.0 Goals) (+145)The Lavender Llamas (-2.0 Goals) (-200)Over 6.0 (-120)Under 6.0 (-120)Notes: The Llamas should be rolling out a mostly full lineup
D5 Power Rankings (Pre-Playoff Edition) (Summer 2023)
1) Red ZeppelinPrevious Rank: 1 (unchanged)Average Rank: 1.63Highest Rank: 1Lowest Rank: 3Standard Deviation: 0.741st Place Votes: 4 of 8 Comments: Red makes it through the full season ranked #1 wire to wire.
Summer 2023 Prop Lines (Pre-Playoff Edition)
District Five ChampionshipBlueberry Bulldogs (+250)Red Zeppelin (+250)Julie’s Football Club (+250)Vegas Golden Knights (+330)MelRose Place (+330)Merry Pranksters (+360)Hungry Hippos 2.0 (+400)The Lavender Llamas (+550)Field (+800) Team To Appear In District Five Championship GameBlueberry Bulldogs (-145)Red
Weeks 12-14 Box Scores (Summer 2023)
Hungry Hippos 2.0 vs The Lavender Llamas 1st Period:HIP (1-0) – Hicks (7) (assisted by Jeff Oberg) (1:41)LLA (1-1) – Riegler (1) (assisted by Annie)
Week 14 Betting Lines (Summer 2023)
Hubba Bubba (-2.0 Goals) (-200)The Mighty Mensches (+2.0 Goals) (+150)Over 6.0 (-120)Under 6.0 (-120) Alex Notes: Pink gets Cherie and Amanda subbing even though Amanda kind of has
Week 13 Betting Lines (Summer 2023)
Green Street Hooligans (+170)Vegas Golden Knights (-240)Over 6.0 (-120)Under 6.0 (-120) Notes: A total shitshow of a night with most teams playing unbelievably short. Green
Week 12 Betting Lines (Summer 2023)
Jess was feeling left out of the weekly previews so she has made her return as my annual #collab partner. Of course, she couldn’t do
D5 Power Rankings (Volume IV) (Summer 2023)
1) Red ZeppelinPrevious Rank:Â 1 (unchanged)Average Rank:Â 1.57Highest Rank:Â 1Lowest Rank:Â 3Standard Deviation:Â 0.791st Place Votes:Â 4 of 7 Comments:Â Red is looking to go wire-to-wire as the #1 team in the
Weeks 9-11 Box Scores (Summer 2023)
MelRose Place vs Green Street Hooligans 1st Period:MRP (1-0) – Dom (4) (assisted by Ryan Levine) (8:15)MRP (2-0) – Zach Flynn (1) (assisted by Mel)
Week 11 Betting Lines, Take Two (Summer 2023)
Green Street Hooligans (+105)Shooting Blancs (-150)Over 6.0 (-135)Under 6.0 (-105) Alex Notes: The long awaited showdown between Simon and Yehuda plays out as the opening
Week 11 Betting Lines (Summer 2023)
The Lavender Llamas (-120)Shooting Blancs (-120)Over 7.5 (-150)Under 7.5 (+110) Alex Notes: Previews tonight are going to be short and bizarre because a) it might
Week 10 Betting Lines (Summer 2023)
Blueberry Bulldogs (-120)MelRose Place (-120)Over 6.0 (-120)Under 6.0 (-120) Notes: MelRose will have mens ball hockey and mens weed smoking legend Matt McCracken subbing along
Weeks 7 & 8 Box Scores (Summer 2023)
Blueberry Bulldogs vs Hubba Bubba 1st Period:HUB (1-0) – Mike Stern (5) (assisted by Neil) (2:00)BLU (1-1) – Cherie (3) (assisted by Richard Zemel) (4:52)HUB
Week 9 Betting Lines (Summer 2023)
MelRose Place (-260)Green Street Hooligans (+185)Over 6.5 (-120)Under 6.5 (-120) Notes: Welcome to Week 9 where, completely tired of the monotony of coming up with creative
Week 8 Betting Lines (Summer 2023)
Julie’s Football Club (-300)The Mighty Mensches (+200)Over 6.5 (-110)Under 6.5 (-130) Notes:Â Short capsule-esque previews for tonight because who the hell knows if these games are
Week 6 Box Scores (Summer 2023)
The Mighty Mensches vs Green Street Hooligans 2nd Period:GSH (1-0) – Gil (1) (assisted by Amanda) (0:50)3rd Period:GSH (2-0) – Gil (2) (unassisted) (5:15) GAME
Week 7 Betting Lines (Summer 2023)
Blueberry Bulldogs (-120)Hubba Bubba (-120)Over 6.0 (-120)Under 6.0 (-120) Notes:Â A truly difficult line to make on both the winner and the total. The Bulldogs will
Week 6 Betting Lines (Summer 2023)
The Mighty Mensches (+1.5 Goals) (+130)Green Street Hooligans (-1.5 Goals) (-185)Over 7.0 (-105)Under 7.0 (-135) Notes: Before these half-assed previews of tonights games I felt it
D5 Power Rankings (Volume III) (Summer 2023)
1) Red ZeppelinPrevious Rank:Â 1 (unchanged)Average Rank:Â 2.0Highest Rank:Â 1Lowest Rank:Â 4Standard Deviation:Â 1.201st Place Votes:Â 4 of 8 Comments:Â Tons of movement throughout the ranks but red maintains their hold on
Week 5 Box Scores (Summer 2023)
Red Zeppelin vs The Lavender Llamas 1st Period:RED (1-0) – Austin Marshalek (2) (unassisted) (6:56)LLA (1-1) – Sam (1) (assisted by Annie) (12:46)RED (2-1) –
Week 5 Betting Lines (Summer 2023)
Red Zeppelin (EVEN)The Lavender Llamas (-145)Over 6.0 (-110)Under 6.0 (-130) Notes: There is legit only so much I can write about a slate of games
Week 4 Box Scores (Summer 2023)
Merry Pranksters vs Hubba Bubba 1st Period:PRK (1-0) – Chris Fullam (1) (assisted by Sam Gelman) (3:28)HUB (1-1) – Stern (1) (assisted by Neil) (8:40)HUB
Week 4 Betting Lines (Summer 2023)
Merry Pranksters (-110)Hubba Bubba (-130)Over 6.5 (-110)Under 6.5 (-130) Notes: Two teams wearing bright colored pride-adjacent jerseys kick off week four as the Pranksters travel to
Updated Prop Bet Lines (Week IV) (Summer 2023)
District Five ChampionshipRed Zeppelin (+330)Julie’s Football Club (+330)Blueberry Bulldogs (+420)Hungry Hippos 2.0 (+420)The Lavender Llamas (+600)Shooting Blancs (+600)Vegas Golden Knights (+600)MelRose Place (+600)Green Street Hooligans (+800)Merry Pranksters
D5 Power Rankings (Volume II) (Summer 2023)
1) Red ZeppelinPrevious Rank: 1 (unchanged)Average Rank: 1.71Highest Rank: 1Lowest Rank: 4Standard Deviation: 1.111st Place Votes: 4 of 7 Comments: For the second straight week, red maintains the top ranking in
Week 3 Box Scores (Summer 2023)
Hubba Bubba vs Red Zeppelin 1st Period:RED (1-0) – Harrison Hascoe (1) (EN) (assisted by Joe Magosin) (0:31)RED (2-0) – Carter (2) (EN) (assisted by
Week 3 Betting Lines (Summer 2023)
Hubba Bubba (+125)Red Zepplin (-165)Over 6.5 (-130)Under 6.5 (-110) Notes: In honor of two teams with a bunch of players on the Upper East Side, throwback to
Weeks 1 & 2 Box Scores (Summer 2023)
Julie’s Football Club vs Hungry Hippos 2.0 1st Period:JFC (1-0) – Tash (1) (assisted by Jo Robin) (6:55)3rd Period:JFC (2-0) – Rob Meehan (1) (assisted
Week 2 Betting Lines (Summer 2023)
Julie’s Football Club (-145)Green Street Hooligans (EVEN)Over 6.0 (-130)Under 6.0 (-110) Notes: We started this night with five games and at the time of this writing are
Week 1 Betting Lines (Summer 2023)
Julie’s Football Club (-110)Hungry Hippos 2.0 (-130)Over 6.5 (-120)Under 6.5 (-120) Notes: A championship rematch sees Hicks raise the Hippos banner with longtime friend/enemy Jahk McGinty