Julie’s Football Club (-110)Hungry Hippos 2.0 (-130)Over 6.5 (-120)Under 6.5 (-120) Notes: A championship rematch sees Hicks raise the Hippos banner with longtime friend/enemy Jahk McGinty
Author: aryastark1994
D5 Power Rankings (Preseason Ranks) (Summer 2023)
1) Red ZepplinAverage Rank:Â 2.5Highest Rank:Â 1Lowest Rank:Â 41st Place Votes:Â 1 of 5 Comments:Â It hurts to give Nate this much credit, but this team does indeed look solid.
Summer 2023 Prop Bets (Opening Lines)
*All betting lines for entertainment purposes only District Five ChampionshipVegas Golden Knights (+420)Red Zeppelin (+420)Blueberry Bulldogs (+420)The Lavender Llamas (+420)Julie’s Football Club (+420)Hungry Hippos 2.0 (+550)The Mighty Mensches (+650)Green
BREAKING NEWS: D5 Adds 12th Franchise To Summer Season
From the same outlet that brought you such breaking news stories as the Herman/Chester Trade of 2021 or Goose being confirmed Jewish last season comes
Championship Week Box Scores (Spring 2023)
Julie’s Football Club vs I Just Blue Myself 3rd Period:JFC (1-0) – Dave Liang (3) (PPG) (assisted by Amit) (10:12) GAME NOTES: A classic defensive battle
Championship Week Betting Lines (Spring 2023)
Julie’s Football Club (+150)I Just Blue Myself (-200)Over 5.0 (-130)Under 5.0 (-110) Public Perception: Notes: These teams are close to mirror images of each other due to
D5 Prediction Contest Results (Spring 2023)
Vote breakdowns and results of the first of what will be an annual D5 midseason prop bet contest: The two horniest guys on the horniest
Playoff Week 1 Box Scores (Spring 2023)
Medium Rare vs Shooting Blancs 1st Period:RARE (1-0) – Jeff Oberg (1) (assisted by Josh Wagner) (11:45)2nd Period:BLNC (1-1) – Andreas (1) (assisted by Steve
Playoff Week 1 Betting Lines (Spring 2023)
Medium Rare (+110)Shooting Blancs (-155)Over 6.0 (-120)Under 6.0 (-120) Public Perception: Notes: The public is exactly split on this one, as they should be. Both
D5 Playoff Prop Lines (Spring 2023)
District Five ChampionshipI Just Blue Myself (+185)Green Street Hooligans (+280)Hungry Hippos 2.0 (+315)Chili Peppers (+420)Julie’s Football Club (+420)MelRose Place (+500)The Narwhals (+670)Shooting Blancs (+1000)Medium Rare
D5 Power Rankings (Volume V) (Spring 2023)
Welcome to Volume V of the D5 Power Rankings, the final ones before the playoff thunderdome kicks off Tuesday. Methodology is simple; each week I
D5 Stats That Probably Interest No One (Spring 2023 Edition)
Red RecordRed With Sam: 5-2Red Without Sam: 1-2 Notes: We knew they’d struggle without him but lucky for Nate & Co, Sam came to more games living in
Week 11 Box Scores (Spring 2023)
The Narwhals vs Julie’s Football Club 1st Period:JFC (1-0) – Tash (4) (unassisted) (7:48)2nd Period:JFC (2-0) – Malik (2) (assisted by Tash) (3:38)NAR (1-2) –
Week 11 Betting Lines (Spring 2023)
The Narwhals (+120)Julie’s Football Club (-165)Over 6.0 (-120)Under 6.0 (-120) Notes: Four massive games for standings position tonight starting with this clash of teams who have 15 points
Week 10 Box Scores (Spring 2023)
Julie’s Football Club vs I Just Blue Myself 1st Period:JFC (1-0) – Mitch (5) (unassisted) (1:20)JFC (2-0) – Dave Liang (4) (assisted by Tash) (4:30)JFC
Week 9 Box Scores (Spring 2023)
Hungry Hippos 2.0 vs Chili Peppers 1st Period:HIP (1-0) – Tom White (1) (assisted by Lucas) (11:30)3rd Period:CHI (1-1) – Campbell (2) (assisted by Sam)
Week 10 Betting Lines (Spring 2023)
Julie’s Football Club (+120)I Just Blue Myself (-165)Over 5.5 (-110)Under 5.5 (-130) Notes: Blue plays orange in the opening game of the night and what
Week 9 Betting Lines (Spring 2023)
Hungry Hippos 2.0 (-140)Chili Peppers (EVEN)Over 5.5 (-110)Under 5.5 (-130) Notes: I’m fielding nonstop texts about whether we’re playing tonight or not and checking the weather
Spring 2023 Prop Bets (Updated Week IX Lines)
*All betting lines for entertainment purposes only District Five ChampionshipI Just Blue Myself (+250)Hungry Hippos 2.0 (+300)Chili Peppers (+300)The Narwhals (+380)Julie’s Football Club (+475)Green Street
D5 Power Rankings (Volume IV) (Spring 2023)
Welcome to Volume IV of the D5 Power Rankings, a new feature we will premier this season so that league members can get mad at
Week 8 Box Scores (Spring 2023)
I Just Blue Myself vs Chili Peppers 1st Period:CHI (1-0) – Austin Marshalek (1) (assisted by Ryann) (0:33)BLOW (1-1) – Sam Gelman (6) (assisted by
Week 8 Betting Lines (Spring 2023)
I Just Blue Myself (-370)Chili Peppers (+235)Over 6.0 (-135)Under 6.0 (-105) Notes: Sam and KG are out for red while Campbell is a GTD at
Weeks 6-7 Box Scores (Spring 2023)
Shooting Blancs vs Green Street Hooligans 1st Period:BLNC (1-0) – Cara (1) (assisted by Andreas) (6:10)GSH (1-0) – Mike Sanchick (1) (assisted by Mike Stern)
Week 7 Betting Lines (Spring 2023)
Julie’s Football Club (-280)MelRose Place (+200)Over 6.0 (-120)Under 6.0 (-120) Notes:Â Lots of absences tonight for yellow as they will not have Wes or Danilo for
D5 Power Rankings (Volume III) (Spring 2023)
Welcome to Volume III of the D5 Power Rankings, a new feature we will premier this season so that league members can get mad at
Week 5 Box Scores (Spring 2023)
I Just Blue Myself vs Shooting Blancs 2nd Period:BLOW (1-0) – Tim (1) (assisted by Tony D) (8:46)3rd Period:BLOW (2-0) – Tim (2) (assisted by
Week 6 Betting Lines (Spring 2023)
Shooting Blancs (+185)Green Street Hooligans (-270)Over 5.5 (-135)Under 5.5 (-105) Notes: Classic Friday as everyone is missing players and I am violently hungover from a random Thursday
Week 5 Betting Lines (Spring 2023
I Just Blue Myself (-700)Shooting Blancs (+380)I Just Blue Myself (-3.0 Goals) (+105)Shooting Blancs (+3.0 Goals) (-155)Over 5.5 (-130)Under 5.5 (-110) Notes: This is a
D5 Power Rankings (Volume II) (Spring 2023)
Welcome to Volume II of the D5 Power Rankings, a new feature we will premier this season so that league members can get mad at
Spring 2023 Prop Bets (Updated Week V Lines)
*All betting lines for entertainment purposes only District Five ChampionshipI Just Blue Myself (+280)The Narwhals (+320)MelRose Place (+320)Hungry Hippos 2.0 (+320)Chili Peppers (+370)Julie’s Football Club
Weeks 3-4 Box Scores (Spring 2023)
Hungry Hippos 2.0 vs The Narwhals 1st Half:NAR (1-0) – Adam Herman (1) (assisted by Tom McGuire) (8:45)NAR (2-0) – Jack (1) (assisted by Annie)
Week 4 Betting Lines (Spring 2023)
Hungry Hippos 2.0 (-140)The Narwhals (EVEN)Over 5.5 (-115)Under 5.5 (-125) Notes: These teams will face off in a rematch of Friday’s thriller where the Hippos stormed back from
Week 3 Betting Lines (Spring 2023)
Hungry Hippos 2.0 (-135)The Narwhals (-105)Over 5.5 (-115)Under 5.5 (-125) Notes: The next chapter in the storied rivalry of purple and yellow takes a new turn
Spring 2023 Prop Bet Lines (Updated Week III Lines)
*All betting lines for entertainment purposes only District Five ChampionshipI Just Blue Myself (+300)Chili Peppers (+300)Hungry Hippos 2.0 (+350)MelRose Place (+350)Julie’s Football Club (+350)Green Street Hooligans
Week 2 Box Scores (Spring 2023)
Medium Rare vs Chili Peppers 2nd Half:RARE (1-0) – Kevin Mahoney (1) (assisted by Jeff Oberg) (2:48)CHI (1-1) – Nate (1) (PPG) (assisted by Tarnow)
Week 2 Betting Lines (Spring 2023)
Medium Rare (-140)Chili Peppers (EVEN)Over 5.5 (-110)Under 5.5 (-130) Notes: Tell everyone that Sam now lives in Montreal and will be a flight risk for pretty much
Week 1 Box Scores (Spring 2023)
Julie’s Football Club vs Medium Rare Overtime:JFC (1-0) – Mitch Gronowitz (1) (assisted by Tash) (2:36) GAME NOTES: This game was played with two 19 minute
Week 1 Betting Lines (Spring 2023)
Julie’s Football Club (+150)Medium Rare (-200)Over 6.5 (-120)Under 6.5 (-120) Notes: A classic opening day attendance shitshow as pink had no ladies and orange had
D5 Power Rankings (Preseason) (Spring 2023)
Welcome to Volume 1 of the D5 Power Rankings, a new feature we will premier this season so that league members can get mad at
BREAKING NEWS: GOOSE CONFIRMED JEWISH
Breaking news out of the Upper East Side synagogues this afternoon as D5 media has obtained this exclusive photo which appears to confirm that Goose
Spring 2023 Prop Bets (Opening Lines)
*All betting lines for entertainment purposes only District Five ChampionshipI Just Blue Myself (+300)Hungry Hippos 2.0 (+300)Chili Peppers (+300)MelRose Place (+360)Julie’s Football Club (+360)Green Street Hooligans
Championship Week Betting Lines (Fall 2022)
The Muskies (-120)EJ Entertainment (-120)Over 5.0 (-130)Under 5.0 (-110) Notes: It was the matchup that was destined to happen pretty much from the moment that
Weeks 8-10 Box Scores (Fall 2022)
The Muskies vs Shooting Blancs 1st Period:BLNC (1-0) – Adam Herman (2) (assisted by Neil) (5:35)MSK (1-1) – Jack (12) (unassisted) (9:11)2nd Period:BLNC (2-1) –
Playoff Week 1 Betting Lines (Fall 2022)
Julie’s Football Club (+140)YeHooligan’s Heroes (-180)Over 5.0 (-130)Under 5.0 (-110) Notes: Two teams who surprisingly finished in the bottom two spots face off in the play-in game. While
Fall 2022 Prop Bets (Updated Playoff Lines)
District Five ChampionshipEJ Entertainment (+130)Pinky Swear $#*! (+200)Shooting Blancs (+275)The Muskies (+275)My Cup Size Is Stanley (+330)MelRose Place (+500)YeHooligan’s Heroes (+625)Julie’s Football Club (+800)Red Rockets (+800) Team To Appear In District Five Championship GameEJ
Week 10 Betting Lines (Fall 2022)
Shooting Blancs (-120)My Cup Size Is Stanley (-120)Over 5.5 (-115)Under 5.5 (-125) What They’re Playing For: With a win in this game the Blancs will clinch a 3rd
Week 7 Box Scores (Fall 2022)
The Muskies vs YeHooligan’s Heroes 1st Period:YHH (1-0) – Avery (1) (assisted by Chris Fullam) (6:52)MSK (1-1) – Miles (8) (assisted by Jack) (11:28)2nd Period:MSK
Week 9 Betting Lines (Fall 2022)
Julie’s Football Club (+140)EJ Entertainment (-185)Over 5.5 (-130)Under 5.5 (-110) Notes: Short and sweet previews because goalie situation is a shitshow, I’m leaving immediately after game 1, weather
Weeks 3-6 Box Scores (Fall 2022)
My Cup Size Is Stanley vs YeHooligan’s Heroes 1st Period:YHH (1-0) – Muhammed Ali (1) (assisted by Amanda Fazio) (11:28)3rd Period:CUP (1-1) – Tom White
Week 8 Betting Lines (Fall 2022)
The Muskies (-120)Shooting Blancs (-120)Over 5.5 (-120)Under 5.5 (-120) Notes: Simon saw me play multiple full games on defense and tie him in total points
Week 7 Betting Lines (Fall 2022)
The Muskies (-155)YeHooligan’s Heroes (+115)Over 5.5 (-135)Under 5.5 (-105) Notes: A five game slate tonight with a 4:00 Yankee playoff game throwing a wrench into things and likely
Week 6 Betting Lines (Fall 2022)
Pinky Swear $#*! (EVEN)EJ Entertainment (-140)Over 5.5 (-110)Under 5.5 (-130) Notes: The Friday night shitshow rolls on as we have a bunch of matchups with uncertain rosters and
Week 5 Betting Lines (Fall 2022)
With October being Halloween month and the writer of this piece being a big fan of The Nightmare Before Christmas despite being Jewish, plus the
Fall 2022 Prop Bets (Updated Week V Lines)
District Five ChampionshipThe Muskies (+275)Pinky Swear $#*! (+275)EJ Entertainment (+275)My Cup Size Is Stanley (+380)Shooting Blancs (+500)Julie’s Football Club (+500)YeHooligan’s Heroes (+500)Red Rockets (+700)MelRose Place
Week 4 Betting Lines (Fall 2022)
Red Rockets (-120)MelRose Place (-120)Over 5.5 (-120)Under 5.5 (-120) Notes: Once upon a time this league was blessed to get Les Mis previews and to
Weeks 1 & 2 Box Scores (Fall 2022)
Julie’s Football Club vs Shooting Blancs 1st Period:BLNC (1-0) – Neil (1) (assisted by Russo) (0:31)BLNC (2-0) – McCauley (1) (assisted by Adam Herman) (11:52)3rd
Week 3 Betting Lines (Fall 2022)
My Cup Size Is Stanley (-165)YeHooligan’s Heroes (+120)Over 6.0 (-130)Under 6.0 (-110) Notes: As we run through a sub negotiation that for some reason has me as
Week 2 Betting Lines (Fall 2022)
I guess we should start this by saying happy birthday to Meg even though she left us to move to the west coast and half
Week 1 Betting Lines (Fall 2022)
Julie’s Football Club (-155)Shooting Blancs (+115)Over 5.5 (-120)Under 5.5 (-120) Notes: Time to throw down some truly half-assed previews, half-assed less because I’m lazy (although that is often
Fall 2022 Prop Bets (Opening Lines)
*All betting lines for entertainment purposes only District Five ChampionshipUntitled Blue Team (+270)Untitled Purple Team (+270)Julie’s Football Club (+270)YeHooligans Heroes (+385)Untitled Pink Team (+385)My Cup